The phrase "honest sales pitch" may seem like an oxymoron. But that was the goal of 11-year-old Charlotte McCourt when it came to hawking Girl Scout Cookies this year. Which is why, when the sixth-grader sat down to compose an email to her father's friend in an attempt to unload some boxes, she decided to go for broke by offering up a bunch of brutally honest reviews of the available flavors.
"I would like to tell you about the cookies, for some of the descriptions use false advertising," she wrote, adding that she would then be rating the cookies on a scale of 1 to 10. "Savannah Smiles are like sweet lemon wedges with just the right balance of sweet and sour. This cookie gets a 7 for it's divine taste. Next is the Trefoil. It is a plain butter cookie with pairs well with any hot drink. I would give it a 6 because alone, it is sort of bland. The Do Si Do is a peanut butter sandwich. I give it a 5 for unoriginal, bland flavor."
(We totally agree. Nutter Butters are soooo much better.)
"The next cookie is a Tagalog," Charlotte continued. "If you don't like peanut butter, than don't buy it!"
Straight and to the point—this girl is totally our hero! But she saves her most scathing words for a confection known as the Toffee-tastic, which we had never even heard of before today. And now we know why.
"It is a bleak, flavorless gluten-free wasteland," Charlotte writes. "It is as flavorless as dirt. I give it a 1."
And we give her review a 10! Speaking of which...while the tough critic did manage to dole out two scores of 9 to perennial faves Thin Mints and Samoas, not one single cookie flavor earned a perfect score. There's a reason for that, though.
"Notice how none of the cookie boxes are a 10?" Charlotte explains in her letter. "The real 10 is donating a box [for the troops fighting overseas]. It helps strike a spark in the treacherous live of those making America safe. Please honor them by donating."
Wanna know how many boxes of cookies Charlotte's sold since the post went live? That number is 7,491 according to an update by Rowe written on January 26. Just for comparison, she sold 300 bozes last year. Pretty incredible.
Watch the mini marketing genius tell Mike Rowe all about it below: