This Stay-at-Home Mom Nails Why It's OK to Be Upset When Your Partner Takes a Weekend 'Off'

Blogger Constance Hall explains why stay-at-home parents are justified being upset if their partner shirks household duties on the weekend.

Most working parents realize that a stay-at-home partner is doing just as much work as they are. But once in a while, misunderstandings and resentment over household responsibilities are bound to pop up. And that's exactly what went down in blogger Constance Hall's friend's home.

As Hall shared in a viral Facebook post, "A friend called me really upset, her husband called her from work and told her he was going away on a spontaneous boys weekend that weekend. She asked me, 'Is it ok that I'm so mad? Would you be upset?'"

Hall told her Facebook followers that she thought about her friend's question "from both sides." Her conclusion: "The truth is that yes, I would be upset."

The Australia-based author went on to explain that "what those who don't stay at home with their kids don't realize is that women (or men) who stay at home make huge sacrifices, they don't love every minute of the relentless housework, going to the park alone with just our kids is not a 'blessing' it's hard f***ing work and no matter how hard they work, the same amount of work is presented to them the following day."

Ultimately, the only break stay-at-home parents get, according to Hall, is "their weekend, so to speak, is you, the other parent, coming home."

The mental load of being the parent in charge of children and running the home alone while the other parent works outside of the home can be colossally taxing on anyone's psyche and energy. Just knowing that relief is coming because there will be an extra set of hands on deck to help with everything from chores to preparing endless snacks and meals can feel immensely helpful; a bit like a beacon of hope at the end of an otherwise grueling week.

Directly addressing parents who work outside of the home. "So the next time you want to spontaneously go away on a boys weekend—and I'm not saying never have spontaneity—but I want you to understand why your partner may feel let down," Hall wrote.

"Imagine if you worked 5 days and just before you clocked off your partner called you and said 'by the way you don't get a weekend this week, you're working all the way through.' You'd be kinda pissed too. And at the end of the day, if somebody actually wants you home with them? Then you are already winning at life."

Cheers to that! Clearly, Hall's thoughts resonated with parents all over the world, as the post has racked up over 8,000 comments and has been shared 6,000 times.

But while there were plenty of cheers in the comments from stay-at-home parents who have been on the receiving end of a similar situation, there were plenty of folks who saw the scenario from a vastly different perspective.

"You're saying that the only break the SAHP gets is when the partner is there to share the load on the weekends. So if the working parent is doing enough to relieve your stress on the weekend, when is their break?" wrote one commenter. "They work all week, same as you, and share your workload on weekends. Sometimes both parents just need a break, and there is nothing wrong with that as long as they BOTH do get a break."

Others took issue with the perceived ganging up on working parents. One commenter wrote, "Give the guy a break. We don't know the back story we don't know anything other than what is written here. Yet we all get up in arms about this man heading away for might a well-deserved weekend away, albeit at short notice."

Perhaps the wisest hot take came from those who tried to explain that this isn't an issue about working parents versus stay-at-home parents; rather, it's about communication, balance, and respect.

"Honestly this all boiled down to communication," wrote one parent. "When you have kids, spontaneous trips don't really work unless you're willing to include the entire family. Time away is important for both parties but a certain amount of planning has to go into it when you have kids."

The arguments around who works more and who deserves a break least when it comes to the shared responsibilities of raising kids are as old as time itself. Perhaps the balm to soothe these disagreements isn't a one-size-fits-all solution but rather a commitment to respectfully communicate with one another.

All in all, there are thousands of interesting perspectives shared in Hall's viral post that are worth thinking about.

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