Don't you just hate all those commercials that show a bunch of picture-perfect working women slaying their morning routines? You know, the ones who are whipping up homemade gluten-free pancakes and squeezing fresh organic OJ in their crisp button-down and pearls? Or meditating in their perfectly decorated fitness nook while rocking a cheerfully patterned pair of leggings and a sports bra that actually, like, matches?
You know how I start each day? With a mug full of coffee and a spritz of dry shampoo, as I push my kids and their coats and their backpacks out the door in a mad dash for the bus. It may not be pretty, but it works.
Which is why I'm basically obsessed with this new commercial from Organic Balance called Real Morning Report. It's real, and it's spectacular, and it shows us what it's really like for working women to get the hell out the door each morning.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Because first, the spot opens with a bunch of Stepford wives doing Stepford wifey things.
"Like most women in commercials, I love to start each day doing yoga in my underwear," one of them begins.
"Or journaling. In my journaling nook," chirps another.
"And eating a wholesome, farm-fresh breakfast," adds a third. "With a tiny spoon. That I bought from a company that gives tiny spoons to underprivileged children."
Ew. But hold on. Because sh*t's about to start getting real, thanks to this chick, brushing her teeth in a ratty old bathrobe.
"Ha!" she tells us. "According to science, most professional women don't have time for any of that."
And the truth bombs just keep on coming, courtesy of an awesome posse of other messy, tired, and crunched-for-time ladies who happily reveal that 33 percent of us never make the bed, 21 percent have used an article of clothing to hide a stain, 58 percent of us will swear at someone or something, and—wait for it—9 percent of us cite dry shampoo as one of the greatest inventions of the 20th century.
Told you, guys!