If you're eating right now, stop. Seriously, you've been warned.
Because I'm about to tell you about a little girl named Khloe Russell who had a safety pin stuck up her nose...for six months!
But wait; it gets better! Her mom Katelyn Powell first realized something was wrong when, as she told California's ABC7 Eyewitness News, the 5-year-old's nose wouldn't stop running out of one side. "Green, green, green constantly and it stunk," she said.
Three doctors treated Khloe for a sinus infection, but it failed to respond to antibiotics. A dentist didn't find the source of the snot. A scope up her nostril didn't reveal anything either.
Then one day, the girl's uncle encouraged her to blow her nose, and lo and behold, a disintegrating safety pin popped out!
"It was a huge object. It was bigger than her nose. We were horrified. I was like, 'Did you put this up there?' She did, but she forgot to tell me," Powell recounted. Khloe had lodged the pin up her nostril while building a castle just to see how far it would go up.
Because that is how kids' minds work! And people shouldn't judge this mom for what happened to her daughter, although that is exactly what they are doing. According to Powell, she has received hate mail saying she is a horrible parent.
"I hope people can understand that this can happen to their children and that it doesn't make their children stupid for doing it or not saying anything after," Powell said.
Um, yup. Do you know how many of my 5-year-old daughter's friends have stuck objects up their noses? Like, all of them.
Luckily, Khloe is 100 percent better. No more stinky green snot. Okay, you can go back to eating.
Melissa Willets is a writer/blogger and a mom. Follow her on Twitter (@Spitupnsuburbs), where she chronicles her love of exercising and drinking coffee, but never simultaneously.