Every single morning, my kids—who are 10 and 13—insist on listing the reasons why they shouldn't have to go to school:
School is stupid. We already know everything. Who cares about ALGEBRA? When am I ever going to use MONOMIALS? You guys don't have to go...and so on.
Depending on my mood—and on how many gigantic mugs of coffee I've managed to throw down—I will either laugh sweetly at them while helping them on with their coats, sigh loudly and roll my eyes, or just flat-out ignore their shenanigans. Because if there's one thing I've learned over the past 13 years, it's that once you engage, it's all over. You might as well just park yourself at the kitchen table and start writing out that tardy note.
The lost shoes, tangled hair, not wanting to eat breakfast, refusal to put on pants...it's all in there, and then some. In a blog post about the making of the parody called "It's so hard. Every. Single. Day," Kim—who, by the way, somehow manages to look completely put together in the morning, and is even accessorized with a scarf!—said that putting this masterpiece together could not have been any easier.
"'Hey Lola, can you look tired, and grumpy, and indifferent, and fuss? Yep, exactly like that.' Cut. Print. Hey Penn Charles I know it's 2:30, but can you get back in your pajam...oh, you're still in them? Perfect.' Hey, we should turn the kitchen into a mess like it is in the morn...wait, look, it's already like that!'"
"Bottom line, our kids are not good at the morning routine, and it's probably because WE aren't very good at the morning routine," Kim wrote. "We shout every morning, we panic every morning, and inevitably we bend to their will every morning...HELP!!! Any advice on how to break the cycle and get them out the ^%$ing door in time?"