Are you an avid apologizer? You've got to hear this mom's important message about why saying "I'm sorry" is a bad habit we should all aim to break.
Oh, were you in the middle of something? I'm sorry you clicked on this story, and I interrupted your day.
Stupid, right? In a new YouTube video, vlogger Kristina Kuzmic explains why it is high time we moms stop apologizing for really dumb, unnecessary things. First, she admits she says "sorry" for far too much. It's kind of like word vomit; the words just come out of her mouth.
"I'm so sorry my house is a mess."
"Sorry I look so tired."
Or my personal favorite: "Sorry, can I ask you a question?" I do this all the time! Why? I'm actually not sorry at all! And now that Kuzmic is pointing out the ridiculousness of apologies for no reason, I too feel resolved to stop the insanity.
Of course, there are situations where apologies are warranted. That time my toddler cut in front of someone in the airport and basically caused them to trip, I was truly sorry. Although, she is 3 years old, and most kids in this age group are kind of notorious for not looking where they are going or having any situational awareness whatsoever. So, my apology wasn't as profuse as it would have been had it been me that accidentally tripped that person.
Anyway, according to Kuzmic, the reason it's so important for us moms to stop with the unwarranted "I'm sorry"-ing is that those words are sending a message that we should feel bad about ourselves for stupid things, like wearing yoga pants, or the fact that we didn't have a chance to shower today. We already have enough to feel bad about, without these silly excuses!
"I'm a mother. Feeling bad is part of my job description," the vlogger quips. But, pretty much.
Apologizing for everything also sends a bad message to our kids, especially if we're apologizing about them. Like saying, "Sorry, she never stops talking." Apologizing for who our kids are is indeed truly icky!
So why do we do it? Perhaps we're just being polite. Or we want others to like us. But Kuzmic asserts, "The truth is, saying 'sorry' just makes us look insecure and defensive." And no one likes someone who is insecure and defensive.
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She suggests it would be far more effective to replace "I'm sorry" with "Thank you." As in, "thank you" for not judging me if my child is chatting non-stop, or my hair is a mess, or my house looks like a toy-nado.
Sounds like a plan to me! What's your take?
Melissa Willets is a writer/blogger and a mom. Find her on Facebook where she chronicles her life momming under the influence. Of coffee.