Life can be tough out there on the playground. But don't worry, kids—Ryan Gosling's got some awesome advice.
For starters: Come packing chalk.
See, Gosling once dreamed of being a graffiti artist, and now he's living that dream by hanging out at the park and composing intricate chalk drawings with his 20-month-old daughter Esmeralda. Life is good. Or at least it was, until some little hooligan started wiping away all their meticulously crafted masterpieces.
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"Some kid has been erasing her name and writing their name over it," Gosling told Ellen. "So now I'm in a proper tagging battle. And this kid has access to an unfair amount of chalk."
As a parent, that would piss me off, too. But is the other kid's dad the dude who outlines dead bodies on CSI? Is his last name Crayola? And is it somehow actually possible that the man whose face has sparked a million memes doesn't know they sell big old buckets of sidewalk chalk for $10, like, everywhere?
Regardless, Esmerelda doesn't really seem too concerned with the injustice. "She's like, 'Well we'll just chalk anywhere else," Gosling told Ellen. "But I'm like, 'No, no. They're disrespecting your mother. Because she gave you this name and they're erasing it. So the only way to really get back at them is to erase their name."
Revenge: A dish best served in soft white calcium carbonate.
"Not to disrespect their mother, but definitely put her on notice," Gosling then clarified. "Because I think she's the chalk supplier, too."
Hey, girl...you better watch your back.