"Hands on your belly." These are the famous last words I've often uttered before escorting my kids into a store, especially one like Home Goods, where everything can break. These are also the instructions mom-of-three and blogger at That's Inappropriate Meredith Masony doles out to her brood in the parking lot of the discount mart they are about to enter in her new video aptly titled, "Shopping With The Kids."
Her words are obviously going to be completely ignored, as is this foolhardy assertion, "We need three things." Because soon her kids are asking for light sabers, shovels, and of course, candy.
"I'm not buying you a bunch of candy. You're already crazy enough as it is," Masony informs the kids.
From there, the kids' requests for junk they don't need just get more and more ridiculous. Reading glasses? They can't read. Cat food? "We don't have a cat!" Masony reminds them.
This scenario is hilarious because it's true. When I take my kids shopping, they always try to throw stuff they have no use for in the cart. It never ceases to amaze me that even when they don't know what something is, they still want it! Because how much things cost has no relevance in their world.
"Going anywhere with the kids is a struggle," Masony tells us. "Shopping with them can be the worst!"
In the video, the kids start asking for stuff that no kid should have, ever. Like glitter. "That won't come out of the couch for a year!" Masony tells the kids, through her hysterical peels of laughter at the prospect of buying every mom's arch nemesis in the art supply category.
You'll have to watch the video to hear the hilarious way Masony responds to her child's request for marbles. Hint: It has something to do with poop!
Is this what shopping with your kids looks like?
Melissa Willets is a writer/blogger and a mom. Follow her on Twitter (@Spitupnsuburbs), where she chronicles her love of exercising and drinking coffee, but never simultaneously.