I've long had a theory that Kristen Bell is the realest mom in Hollywood. Like, I picture her daily life being somewhat similar to mine (come on, it's possible!), and now, I have proof. It seems the actress wakes up to the same nonsense with her children, Lincoln, age 3, and Delta, 15 months, as I do with my three girls.
"It's a circus, for sure," Bell told Ellen DeGeneres during a recent appearance on her show. "I mean, I love it. I love them. But, you know what? You know where we could do better? Why does everyone wake up screaming? Like, why don't they tell you that? Like, 'They're going to wake up screaming — for, like, four years.' The moment you wake up, you're in, like, a horror movie, 'cause everyone in the house is screaming bloody murder."
Uh huh. Same exact scenario in my house. My 2-year-old will call "MOM!" and if I don't come upstairs right away and get her out of her crib, she'll start hysterically crying, as if I've left the country and I'm never coming back.
Meanwhile, my 5-year-old is just grumpy in the morning. It's her thing. So she'll whine and cry when I ask her to use the potty, brush her teeth, get dressed, or anything at all that doesn't involve going back to bed.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is my 7-year-old, who somehow wakes up with boundless energy. She's bouncing off the walls, talking a mile a minute, and at a volume most people reserve for a conversation at an air show. All the while, I'm just struggling to get down those first few sips of coffee so I can catch up!
Bell also joked about her kids' lack of support of her caffeine habit on Ellen, saying "They don't get up and make your coffee, like I kind of thought, maybe, they would."
Don't worry, Kristen, my kids aren't baristas either.
Do your kids wake up screaming, too?
Melissa Willets is a writer/blogger and a mom. Follow her on Twitter (@Spitupnsuburbs), where she chronicles her love of exercising and drinking coffee, but never simultaneously.