Everything Kids

If You've Ever Been Mom-Shamed, This Video Is For You

This mom blogger wants us all to stop bashing each other once and for all, and start being supportive instead.

jenny on the spot mom shaming Jenny on the Spot/Facebook
Chrissy Teigen. Hayden Panettiere. Jana Kramer. Kristen Cavallari. Olivia Wilde. What do all these celeb mamas have in common? They've all been the victims of mom-shaming.

I can't believe she used a night nurse. How could she give her kid jarred baby food? Her kids are so skinny she must be starving them. How dare she wear a bikini when she actually looks pregnant! Who posts a picture of her kids bare butt cheeks?

And so on. And Hollywood moms aren't the only victims—judgmental barbs are flung at all of us non-famous parentals pretty much on the regular, too. Which is why blogger and mom-of-three Jenny Ingram decided to collab with Mom Life on a video for their #stopmomshaming campaign.

"What is mom shaming?" she asks. "Let's just dig right in."

Ingram then goes off on a diatribe about the passive-aggressive missives we are subjected to every day: I would never let MY child play on that playset. I would never let my kids talk to me like that. I can't believe she lets her kid ride the bus, it is SO dirty. I can't believe you let your kids have sugar, I only make my own baby food. Only the best for my baby. Have you seen inside her car? Have you seen inside her purse? Have you seen her kitchen?

The rant goes on for almost two minutes. And I have to say, it's pretty depressing to watch. Because I've heard all of these statements at one time or another—and, if we're being honest, I've probably even stage-whispered a few of them myself. And it turns out I'm not alone. Because according to Ingram, 67 percent of the people doing the shaming are actually moms themselves!

What the hell are we doing, you guys? Isn't parenting hard enough without us viciously maligning each other? We're all just stumbling through this parenting thing, trying to make it safely—and sanely—to the next day. And we all draw the line in different places with our kids in order to get there. What works for one family may not necessarily work for another. But that's OK. You know how many things I've done since becoming a mother that I never thought I'd do, and that I'm not necessarily proud of? Probably about a billion. So who am I to sit in judgment of another mom, when I know next to nothing about why she's made her choices?

"We need to be supportive," Ingram pleads. "If a mom-friend or a mom-acquaintance or a mom-stranger is struggling, we extend a hand. We need to be encouraging other moms, so that when they go home and they're in their darkest moments, they can pull from goodness."

Words to live by.

Hollee Actman Becker is a freelance writer, blogger, and a mom. Check out her website holleeactmanbecker.com for more, and then follow her on Twitter at @holleewoodworld.