If Toddlers Had Facebook is about to become your new favorite Tumblr account.
Trust me. I just wasted an hour reading this thing and I don't even have a toddler anymore. But I somehow found myself scrolling through post after hilarious post and still not tiring of this glimpse of what it would be like if our little ones shared their every thought and feeling—most of them about us—on social media. You know, the way we do about them.
"Any ideas for getting her to leave Target? Been here for an hour..."
"Not sure why someone who can't make pancakes would attempt a pillowcase dress. I look like an idiot #PinterestIHateYou"
"Date night. Any suggests for making this not happen?"
And as if that last post wasn't funny enough, a fake toddler actually offered up a fake suggestion in the fake comment section: "THROW UP IN HER HAIR."
Good one, right? If I had a dime for every time that's actually happened to me...
The genius behind this Tumblr appears to be the same dad of three who runs If Toddlers Texted (the two accounts are linked). He told The Huffington Post that he wants to remain anonymous, and that he gets his ideas "from my crazy but funny life with my children." His only goal, he added, is to make parents laugh. And we think he's pretty much crushing it with status updates like this one:
"Something about her stocking up on my favorite foods makes me not like them anymore."
That faux FB post racked up 142 "toddler likes" and one lone comment left by a curly-haired toddler named "Rosie Lynn" who clearly knows her way around hashtags: "Totally," she quipped. "#YouDontKnowMe."
Except that he so does.