Sex after kids. Um, let's just say it's not always a priority. That's something that mom-of-three and blogger at That's Inappropriate Meredith Masony understands well. But her lack of interest in intimacy after a long day of doing laundry, not showering, and taking care of her 5-, 7-, and 10-year-olds doesn't stop her husband from trying.
In a new video called, "Are you serious?" Masony throws a string of excuses at her hubby's wandering hand as she tries to go to bed over the course of a week. On Monday she informs him, "I had a chili dog for lunch." I mean, come on! The woman is too bloated for sex. Tuesday, she's exhausted from doing "18 loads of laundry. No exaggeration. Pretty sure it was 18."
All week, it's excuses, excuses, because on school nights, as most of us moms can agree, fooling around is about the last thing we feel like doing. Other than laundry. Oh, and we won't be fooled by our man telling us he just wants to cuddle. Because we know where that's headed!
But then—dun, dun, dun, dun—it's Friday. And Masony has to give in, at least for five minutes. "I need you to be fast," she warns her hubby. And I can't stop laughing. Because I've so been there!
Look, it's not as if I never want to have sex. Just not as much as my husband does. It's like what Masony told Parents.com about how different she and her husband are. "I really do believe that men are from Mars and women, Venus," she said, adding, "At the end of the day after wrangling three kids, going to work, picking up groceries, and doing the daily bed, baths, and 'GO TO BED' routine, having sex can be the last thing on my mind."
Of course, Masony adds, "Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and I love having sex with him, but sometimes I really am way too tired to move."
It seems he is on to her, though, because she admits, "My husband claims that he asks every night because he likes to play the odds. He said 'If I ask every night, and you say yes three times a week, I'm winning.'"
In the end, sex, and marriage in general, are a compromise, Masony says. So that means saying "no" sometimes, but also, on rare occasions, saying "yes!"
Melissa Willets is a writer/blogger and a mom. Follow her on Twitter (@Spitupnsuburbs), where she chronicles her love of exercising and drinking coffee, but never simultaneously.