Well for one thing, there would be a lot more rules.

By Hollee Actman Becker
September 19, 2017
Disney Princess Figures
Credit: traci_b/FOAP

It's commonly acknowledged that characters in Disney movies either lose their moms early on—like in Bambi—or simply don't have one to begin with. See: Belle, Ariel, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White.

There's a theory for the lack of maternal presence that's been floating around for ages, and it centers around the fact that Walt Disney felt responsible for his own mother's death and the tragedy influenced his work. Pretty heartbreaking. Of course, not everyone is buying the story. Consider Kristin Hensley and Jen Smedley of #IMomSoHard, who have just presented us with a slightly different hypothesis in a video titled "I Princess So Hard."

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"I thought the moms die just because moms complicate the story," Hensley explains. "Seriously, like if a mom comes into a story that's supposed to be 90 minutes, she's going to clean that sucker up. It's going to be over in seven minutes!"

So true. And then there's the fact that having a mom around would have been kind of a bummer for some of the more rebellious VIPs in the Disney lineup. For example, if a certain Arabian Princess had her madre checking up on her, we're pretty sure she wouldn't have been allowed to rock that skimpy two-piece outfit or date a lowly street urchin.

"Jasmine, you think you're gonna go on a magic carpet ride with this guy?" Smedley says. "Lemme tell you something, if you rub his lamp, it is not a genie that comes out."

Savage! Oh and if Elsa still had a mom? Girlfriend would have been forced to quit whining and build that damn snowman with her sister.

"The mom in Frozen would have been like 'Elsa, you get outta that room!'" Smedley explains. "You're gonna have to deal with this. Life is hard. Put on your gloves."

Solid advice, Elsa's Mom! Totally using that from now on.

There is, however, one Disney story these hilarious mamas would sign off on—and it's the one that involves a pumpkin that turns into a carriage and lost slipper made of glass.

"Some guy buys me designer shoes on the first date, I'd lean into that," Hensley confesses.


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Hollee Actman Becker is a freelance writer, blogger, and mom of two who writes about parenting and pop culture. Check out her website holleeactmanbecker.com for more, and then follow her on Instagram