Although we all want to prioritize and celebrate family time around the holiday season, believing everything -- especially with family -- is merry and bright can be downright delusional. We all know this but rarely speak about it, preferring to send out glossy, retouched holiday cards to loved ones. But surely, many of us wish we could be a bit more real this time of year, and that's one mom's super-honest holiday card is going viral. Posted to the Facebook page "Mommy Loves Vodka" on December 1, the viral card was accompanied by the simple but awesome caption: "Brutally honest Christmas card. ?"
The card, sent out by Tom and Lisa Allen, features blunt updates on the couple's three kids. For instance, Landon, their "precocious and super annoying" 3-year old "whines all the time and doesn't go to sleep when he's told." Even worse: "Most of the artwork he brings home from church nursery is awful. Our pride and joy (and source of our drinking problem)," the proud parents sassily write.
Next up, the Allens recap Hunter, their "energetic yet surprisingly unathletic 9-year-old who just got cut from a soccer team that doesn't even keep score in their games, I know ... how does that even happen?! Spends most of his time on his iPad and said his first swear word this year. Super exciting!"
Finally, there's Maddy, who got fired from Sephora, because she told her boss, "Just because I'm on the schedule doesn't mean I have to show up." Further details on this young adult, provided by her parents: "Age 18 ... goes over her data each month on her cell phone. Was grounded for two weeks this fall after she snuck a guy in her window to 'watch a movie.'"
As for Tom and Lisa, they confess that they're "somehow still married" after 41 years and, according to Lisa, "Tom still tucks his T-shirt into his jeans and just took money from our retirement account to buy a fishing boat. His golf shoes are still currently on the steps after I told him three times to take them upstairs."
Here's the card in all its glory:
Facebook commenters are loving it, of course. "So this is our inspiration for the over-the-top card we did," one wrote. "We went the opposite way to poke fun of the bragging by over-bragging and making outlandish claims. But if we wanted to do raw and honest, I’m pretty sure we have the material this year!" Another said, "Much more fun to read than the descriptions of perfection you usually see! Wish I’d been brave enough to do it."
Perhaps there's a time and a place for both "perfection" and pulling no punches! Cheers to the Allens for keeping it all too real this Christmas!