Dad Blogger Gets Honest About Envying His Son's Closeness With His Wife
Dads aren't speaking out about this common parenting emotion, but maybe they should, according to one father.
"Something magical happened last night," Terence Mentor began his now-viral post, before sharing some background on the story. Apparently, ever since his son Eli was born, "he was totally his mother's child." Then he admits, "I honestly found their immediate and intense connection beautiful, but even more honestly...it made me jealous."
Mentor goes on to confess, "It is quite a thing to be a dad who can't comfort his child, who is constantly told 'No, I go to mommy', who never seems to have a real, relational moment with his own son."
The dad blogger goes on to say he knows his feelings may be childish, but they are real, and disheartening. So when Eli, whom Mentor refers to as Boy 2.0 in the post, started sometimes choosing him over his mom, he couldn't help but feel a little happy.
"Anyway, this trend has continued—and then last night, while he was asleep on his mother's chest (the only place he has always found comfort for the last two years), he got up and, still asleep, cuddled into me," Mentor shares, adding, "This child, who would cry when I so much as looked his way, came to me for his comfort and calm."
The result? Dad got a little teary eyed! And the takeaway from his story: "Being a dad is hard, but every bit of emotional and physical energy that you use can be repaid to you in an instant," Mentor writes, adding this advice to other parents going through what he has: "Keep going. Keep pushing. It will be worth it."
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I know for a fact my husband can relate to Mentor's post. All three of my girls have been very attached to me from moment one. They always want "mommy to do it." As they get older, they let their dad in more, but they still want me when they're sick, or have something important on their minds they want to discuss. I'll be honest: It kinda never occurred to me to feel bad about that.
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In fact, Mentor told Parents, "I think that it hit home with so many people because it made moms look at their partners in a different light. Unfortunately, dads don't really speak about this kind of thing, so when people read my post a lot of them went, 'Oooooooh, that makes sense!'"