Lifestyle blogger Jacqui Saldana has been sharing recipes and heartwarming moments with her kids online for years. But in 2014, she and her husband Dan tragically lost their 3-year-old son. Ever since, they undoubtedly face emotionally trying moments. Saldana took to Instagram on Tuesday, March 6 to share one in particular.
"I’m feeling major regret tonight," she wrote alongside a beautiful photo with her 2-year-old daughter Mila. "Today while I was checking out at Target this old couple came over & started to play with Mila. The three of them laughing together & Mila was trying to share her box of raisins with them. Before they left the lady looked at me and asked 'she is your only one?' ? When I looked at the lady she was so happy, I panicked and just said 'ya' then smiled back. Then I cried in my car on the way home."
Saldana elaborated, "I feel awful for not saying 'No! I have an older son.' But a lot of times that leads people to ask 'is he at school?' and then I’m forced to say, 'no he passed away when he was three.' And then it gets weird."
Saldana says she just "felt so tired & just didn’t want to get into it all while at the Target check out. The lady was so sweet, but it breaks my heart thinking about Ryan. It would kill me if he heard me say that. It may all seem so small and not a big deal. But it’s torn me a part all evening. Thanks for listening ??."
"I feel you mama!" one commenter wrote. "I lost my little girl at 5 1/2 months pregnant and while I never knew her physically when people ask me if my 4 year old son is our only one, I twinge, cry and dread how I will answer that question because she is and always be a part of our family. You're an amazing mama to both your littles." Another shared, "I understand this struggle, and I feel like those of us who have lost children just have no safe places ? As it’s been said, please be kind to yourself and don’t beat yourself up... although I know it’s easier said than done. Sending you love."