9 Ways Raising a Toddler Is Like a Zombie Apocalypse
1. You haven’t showered or slept in weeks.
2. Everyone is constantly screaming.
3. Your diet consists of discarded food scraps that you eat while running frantically through your house.
4. A well stocked “go bag” is a must.
5. Common household items are frequently used as weapons.
6. No one is very coordinated.
7. Just when you think it can’t get any grosser—it gets grosser.
8. Sometimes, people try to bite you.
9. Your only hope is barricading yourself in a bathroom till it’s over.