Consequences For Bad Behavior

Stop your child's bad behavior in its tracks with these suggestions for appropriate and effective consequences to her actions.


[MUSIC] In my practice when parents come to see they're usually feeling pretty frustrated with their children. And a part of them hopes that I'll know something that will get through to their child once and for all. But it doesn't work that way. It takes time to learn these important skills. As parents, I think what we need to do is to be good bosses. We've all had good and bad bosses. The good bosses are the ones who help us to be successful, and notice when we get it right. The bad bosses are the ones who yell at us after we've messed up. So the good bosses are all about teaching, and that's what parenting is about too. Too often when parents hear the word discipline, they think punishment. But really what we're trying to do is help children learn how to behave well. Rather than trying to figure out what punishment fits this crime. I think a more useful approach is to ask how can I get this child back on track? Sometimes that means having the child take a break to cool off and then try again later. Sometimes the best consequence for misbehavior is to encourage the child to make amends. So if your daughter knocked over her brother's tower, you can say Jeremy is feeling very sad. What can you do to help him feel better. We can't help children to move forward by convincing them of their badness. So what we need to do instead is to help them, to teach them. The right way to respond.

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