TikTok Stars Scarlett and Tiania Harness the Power of Affirmations

In March 2020, in the wake of George Floyd’s life being lost, Tiania Haneline wanted to ensure early on that her then-3-year-old daughter, Scarlett, would have healthy self-esteem and embrace her beautiful, brown skin and textured curly hair. 

The adorable mother-daughter duo began posting positive self-affirmations on TikTok. Scarlett would repeat inspirational affirmations to herself in the mirror, while her mom Tiania would do her hair. The heart-warming video footage immediately began to go viral. Within nine months, the duo amassed more than 8 million social media followers. Their lives have become a testament to the good that can come from speaking positivity, and sharing that goodness with the world.

In their new children’s book, I’m Going To Have A Good Day, Scarlett, the main character, incorporates daily affirmations into her daily routine, and invites readers of the book to do the same. When speaking with Kindred by Parents, Haneline shared that she grew up in a household that was intentional about affirming her as a human being. 

“I grew up with my dad affirming me and my siblings. He was always saying to us, “You're so beautiful. You're so smart. And, I brought that into my children’s lives. But, I never really got them to repeat it [affirmations] until everything happened in 2020 with the Black Lives Matter movement and the killing of George Floyd,” says Haneline. “I was like, this girl has got to really understand how beautiful her curls are, how beautiful her skin is, and how smart she is, and know her value in this world. And, that's where it all began. 

And now, as a mom of two teenage sons and 6-year-old Scarlett, Haneline believes that affirming your children in a supportive manner is the key to giving them a head start in life. Haneline makes it clear that raising her two older white sons has been a totally different experience than parenting her daughter Scarlett. 

She shares, “We all know that racism still exists, right? But growing up as a white girl, and then having a Black biracial child, it really opens your eyes up to a lot of stuff. [We get] lots of looks, comments, and a lot of people trying to figure out why I have a Black child, and I am white. And in most cases, Scarlett chimes in and says, we have white milk and we have chocolate milk. And, when you mix it, it makes me. We did a little experiment on TikTok, and it was really cute.”

“But, it’s been a very big eye-opener, and I wanted to change the narrative of white women raising biracial children to get them to understand who they are and prepare them for the world.

"I want her [Scarlett] to know that not everyone is going to love you. That's what I am trying to prepare her for, because there's a lot of people out there watching. She's going to grow up, and go off to school, and I'm not going to be there. I want her to be like, ‘Hey, I love my curls. I love my skin,’ whenever somebody is saying something negative. She is a fierce one!” 

As a white mom, Haneline is deliberate about the narrative that raising a Black biracial child requires more than just loving them and giving them a nurturing home. She believes that non-Black parents raising biracial kids must constantly stay mindful of the realities of what it is like for their children as they navigate the world.

For Haneline, teaching her daughter and teen sons to see people for their character, and not their skin color, is a cornerstone of her parenting. However, Haneline shares that she does not hide from her children the realities of racial constructs in America. “She’s never asked, and my boys have never said, “Why is Scarlett a different color?” But, Scarlet knows that her brothers and I are white. I don't want her to be blind to the fact that that's the way the world is. We want to see everybody equal, but that's not the way the world is. So, it's about finding the balance between this reality, and what we want to see eventually for the world, and that’s to see everybody as equal.” 

Haneline says she is intentional and transparent with Scarlett about the racial constructs that do exist in the society that we live in and that participating in affirmations with her daughter is a way to help prepare her daughter for the real world.

She knows Scarlett will have different experiences than she did when she was growing up. She shares that Scarlett is naturally confident and embraces her beautiful brown skin and coily, curly hair. She shares that that was one of her main goals when she started doing social media, and eventually with their book of affirmations. She shares, “I wanted to make sure that she loves her curls, and that she didn’t have to feel as if she had to conform to the beauty standards of this world, especially being raised by a mom with straight blonde hair. I just want her to continue to love those curls.”

That is why daily affirmations are effective for her family. Daily, she and Scarlett, are declaring “I love my Brown skin. I’m kind. I’m smart.”

In writing this book, Tiania and Scarlet want their readers to understand the positive impact that affirmations can have. And, their greatest hope for parents is that they will embrace what it truly means to affirm kids, because they believe that kids need to hear this from their parents the most. “It’s a different feeling when your parents affirm you. Your friends can tell you all day. Or, you may be getting bullied at school,” she says. “But, then, to get home from school, and your mom’s like, ‘Hi, did you have a good day? You look so beautiful.’ There is just so much power in parents making their children feel affirmed.”