"The worst trial in our family history, a trial we had long since dealt with and made our peace with, was now public knowledge," Jinger Duggar writes in her new book, The Hope We Hold.

By Natalie Stone
May 05, 2021
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josh duggar
Josh Duggar
| Credit: Danny Johnston/AP/Shutterstock

Jinger (Duggar) Vuolo is recalling one of the most "awful" seasons of her family's past, and the "painful" moment it was unearthed and shared with the world.

In her and husband Jeremy Vuolo's new book, The Hope We Hold: Finding Peace in the Promises of God, released Tuesday, the Counting On star reflects on the day that her brother Josh Duggar's past molestation scandal was made public — and how she felt as though "a bomb had exploded" within their family.

In 2015, the Duggars made headlines when news broke that Jim Bob and Michelle's eldest child, Josh, had allegedly molested five underage girls as a teenager. Two of his sisters, Jill Dillard, now 29, and Jessa Seewald, now 28, later came forward as two of the victims, insisting they had already "moved on" and forgiven their brother when the news surfaced.

"Earlier that day, Dad had gathered my siblings and me to tell us that the worst trial in our family history, a trial we had long since dealt with and made our peace with, was now public knowledge," Jinger, 27, writes in The Hope We Hold.

The Hope We Hold Book Cover
The Hope We Hold
| Credit: Worthy Books, a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

"Intimate details about our lives were splashed across a magazine page and all over the Internet for anyone and everyone to read," she continues. "I felt shell-shocked, as if a bomb had exploded."

At the time, Jinger writes that she felt she was "living in a nightmare that I wished with all my heart wasn't real."

Referring to Josh, Jinger states in the book that "one of my siblings had made some sinful choices, but it had all been years ago. It had been awful, but we had dealt with it as a family," explaining that they "sought the Lord" and "took the necessary steps to move toward healing."

Duggar family
Duggar family

But "now that it was out in public," Jinger writes, "the old wound was open again, raw, painful."

The mother of two — she shares daughters Felicity, 2, and 5-month-old Evangeline Jo with Jeremy — says paparazzi were outside their home, making the family feel "trapped in our own house," she writes. After receiving instructions from Jim Bob and Michelle to pack some clothes, Jinger and her siblings then got onto their family bus before leaving their home at night.

"We were getting away for a few days until this all died down, they said," Jinger states in the book.

Issuing a statement to PEOPLE at the time, Josh said, "Twelve years ago, as a young teenager, I acted inexcusably for which I am extremely sorry and deeply regret. I hurt others, including my family and close friends."

"I confessed this to my parents who took several steps to help me address the situation," Josh continued. "We spoke with the authorities where I confessed my wrongdoing, and my parents arranged for me and those affected by my actions to receive counseling."

josh duggar
Josh Duggar
| Credit: Danny Johnston/AP/Shutterstock

Following the scandal, the family's TLC reality series, 19 Kids and Counting, was canceled in July 2015 after nine seasons on air.

The show's cancellation came the month before Josh was involved in another scandal.

In August 2015, Gawker reported that the eldest Duggar son appeared to have had active accounts on Ashley Madison, a website created to facilitate cheating on your spouse.

Josh, 33, ultimately confessed to having a pornography addiction and cheating on his wife, Anna Duggar, in an apologetic statement on the Duggar family website.

Last week, Josh once again made headlines when he was arrested and accused of possessing child pornography two years ago. During his court appearance, he pleaded not guilty to the two charges against him: one count of receipt of child pornography and one count of possession of child pornography.

After his arrest, Jinger and Jeremy issued a joint statement on their respective Instagram accounts, saying they were "disturbed" by the charges.

"We are disturbed to hear of the charges against Josh," they said. "While this case must go through the legal system, we want to make it clear that we absolutely condemn any form of child abuse and fully support the authorities and judicial process in their pursuit of justice."

The Hope We Hold: Finding Peace in the Promises of God is out now.

If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.

This story originally appeared on people.com