Catelynn Baltierra Opens Up About Battling 'Panic Attacks,' Suicidal Thoughts After Miscarriage
The Teen Mom OG star revealed she was seeking treatment after having suicidal thoughts in November 2017.
June 17, 2019
Catelynn Baltierra is opening up about her battle with depression and suicidal thoughts.
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“It was after we struggled with a miscarriage, and I kept waking up with panic attacks, and they were not going away, and it was for, like, two weeks,” Catelynn, 27, explained.
“I think when you keep waking up with panic attacks over and over, it leads me into a depression, and I just remember thinking like, ‘I don’t wanna wake up like this anymore.’ “
Catelynn said that’s when the suicidal thoughts began.
“I was just thinking random things like, ‘I’m going to drive off the road and hit that pole,’ or thinking of all these different ways that I could commit suicide,” she shared.
One day, when she was home alone, Catelynn said her husband Tyler Baltierra “had a belt hanging up on one of those hooks in our bedroom, and I remember thinking to myself, ‘I could totally use that belt and wrap it around my neck and just be done with it.’ “
When Tyler, 27, returned home, Catelynn said she told him she needed help.
“I was honest with him,” Catelynn said. ” ‘I need to get help because I’m having these crazy thoughts and something is not right.’ “
Catelynn announced her decision on Twitter, writing, “Well today I thought of every way to kill myself… so I’m going to treatment.”
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Tyler praised his wife for her bravery and openly expressed his support after she revealed the news.
“Incredibly proud of my wife…when she thought she had no choices left, she reached out & decided to LIVE today! My life would be desolate without her in it. You are beautiful, strong, worthy, & loved @CatelynnLowell #KeepTalkingMH,” he tweeted.
On the podcast, Catelynn told Casey the treatment dramatically changed her life and allowed her to confront past trauma, specifically deciding to place her first child for adoption. Catelynn and Tyler placed Carly for adoption 10 years ago on 16 and Pregnant.
“It’s okay to be sad about it sometimes, and it’s okay to be like, ‘Wow it sucks sometimes,’ and also feel the good too,” Catelynn shared.
After returning home, Catelynn explained it took some time to get acclimated to life post-treatment.
“It takes a while, at least a month, but I made sure to continue going to therapy twice a week. You have to continue doing what you were doing in there.”
Now, Catelynn is in “baby bliss” at home with her and Tyler’s 3-month-old baby girl, Vaeda Luma.
They are also parents to little Novalee Reign, 4.
Earlier this month, the famous couple sweetly reflected on getting engaged 10 years ago at age 17.
“We were only 17 & everyone thought we were naively mistaken about what we wanted out of life, but we knew exactly what we wanted. We wanted each other…forever,” wrote Tyler alongside a throwback clip of the moment he proposed on the MTV show. “I love you so much @CatelynnLowell.”
“How did I get so lucky to have you?!?” replied Catelynn. “I love you so much!”