5 Things You Shouldn't Say To Your Kids At The Dinner Table
The messages you give your children about food can have a powerful effect, so make sure you're sending the right ones. Here are five statements to avoid at the dinner table.
1. "You can have dessert if you eat your asparagus."
No foods (including dessert) should be offered as a reward or withheld as a punishment. Not only does it elevate dessert to super-special status, but it sends the message that you have to eat the "yucky" stuff to get to the "yummy" stuff.
When serving dessert, all family members should be given the choice to have it, regardless of how much they ate during dinnertime. If your child only wants to eat dessert and no actual dinner food, try making dessert an occasional treat. You can also try serving dessert with dinner; the idea may sound crazy, but it works for some kids.
2. "You're so picky."
Placing any kind of label onto your child isn't helpful, since it can internalize certain assumptions. For example, a kid who's been called "picky" might constantly think, "I don't like a lot of foods and I'm afraid to try new things." They might act in a way that lives up to their label.
3. "Eat five more bites of chicken and three more bites of peas."
Parents say these phrases with the best intentions: You probably don't think your child has eaten enough of the "good" stuff, and you're attempting to make his meal more healthy, balanced, and nutritious. But moms and dads should never dictate how much children have to eat (would you like if someone did that to you?). This behavior could make a child think he always has to keep eating—even if he's full—and it could lead to obesity or disordered eating in the future.
4. "You wouldn't like it."
Even if you're 99 percent sure your child won't like something, never discourage her from trying it anyway. It's fine to give a heads-up that something is spicy. Otherwise, be open and encouraging. You're helping your kid to be more adventurous and curious in the long run.
5. "You have to try it."
The "one-bite rule" works great for some kids, since it might encourage them to try things they wouldn't otherwise. But for other kids, it can create a battle at the dinner table. It can also lead to food aversions, picky eating, or negative relations to new foods.
Sally Kuzemchak, MS, RD, is a registered dietitian, educator, and mom of two who blogs at Real Mom Nutrition. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. She is the author of Cooking Light Dinnertime Survival Guide, a cookbook for busy families. In her spare time, she loads and unloads the dishwasher. Then loads it again.
Comments (9)
Honestly this seems like an article written by someone who doesn’t actually want to parent their kids. Life isn’t always about getting just what you like/want and somehow I survived being told to take more bites of things, and got dessert only if I ate a good dinner. This is lazy parenting and puts kids in control….you have to be respectful of your child’s needs but they still have to eat a good dinner.
Read MoreHonestly this seems like an article written by someone who doesn’t actually want to parent their kids. Life isn’t always about getting just what you like/want and somehow I survived being told to take more bites of things, and got dessert only if I ate a good dinner. This is lazy parenting and puts kids in control….you have to be respectful of your child’s needs but they still have to eat a good dinner.
Read MoreWhere is the link to the helpful things to say to get kids to eat their dinner?
Read Morei don't give options. we eat as a family, and we all eat the same thing. he can choose what to drink, and that's it. i honestly think that me not giving options is why he loves vegetables. sometimes for breakfast he asks if he can have asparagus and mushrooms!
Read MoreSo.... basically everything I've been saying to my 4yr old! :-(
Read MoreMy children are not young, but my goal was not to have food issues, i.e., no weight issues and a pleasant mealtime. Instead of "try a bite," I said "You might miss something." We never bribed with sweets or dessert and did not have dessert with every dinner. My children are grown now and very healthly and have not been overweight. Their natural sense of when they have eaten enough still works. Children are little people and benefit by being treated as people and not someone who must eat more bites. Would you want to be forced to eat more when not hungry or when you did not like something? I would not. This creates food issues.
Read MoreIn general I find these posts helpful but i disagree with a few of these points.
Read MoreDoesn't the put the kid in control of dinner? Espeically telling them that they don't need to eat something in order to get desert. I'm not sure I agree with this one. My 5 year old has figured out that if they just say they are full that they don't have to eat. However, they aren't full and about 10 min. later they say thier stomach hurts and that they are hungry. Then we fight about what's available to eat. It's amazing to me that a child can say they aren't hungry but then 10 min. later they are in the refridgerator looking for something else to eat.
Read MoreIl stick to telling them they need to eat some more when they literally only eat 1-2 bites. Good luck with the "im hungry" 20 mins later. I leave the same food out if they dont eat it the first time. No regular dinner food then no super sugary foods PERIOD. I dont ration them, I dont serve them at all if you dont eat.
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