Cheating During Pregnancy Is More Common Than You Think

As rumors swirl around NBA player Tristan Thompson cheating on new mom Khloé Kardashian during her pregnancy, let's get real about the signs of infidelity and how to keep intimacy in your relationship during this transitional time.

Asian Pregnant Woman Sitting Corner of Bed Upset with Husband Man on Laptop — eggeegg/Shutterstock

Gretchen was six months pregnant when she found out that Marcus, her live-in partner of nearly 10 years, had been having an affair. Devastated, she confronted him, and he confessed. Today, more than a year after her discovery, she is raising their toddler daughter alone and has still not told her family the real reason she and Marcus parted.

RELATED: 10 Ways to Reduce Single-Parent Stress

Pregnancy can lead to greater intimacy, but it also can trigger less pleasant changes in a relationship, including infidelity. Estimates of the number of men who stray during their partner’s pregnancy are understandably difficult to gauge, because it’s a topic no one wants to discuss. “You’re not likely to hear about it, especially during the pregnancy, but it’s probably more common than people suspect,” said Scott Haltzman, M.D., a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at Brown University Medical School in Providence, R.I., and author of 2008’s The Secrets of Happily Married Women.

Perhaps surprisingly, the cheating isn’t necessarily about the need for sex itself. “It can also stem from an emotional need, like a desire to be cared for, to feel important or special,” Dr. Haltzman explained. Given all the changes that occur during pregnancy, such needs that might otherwise be satisfied by a man’s partner often go unmet. “For many men, engaging in sex is a form of emotional closeness,” Dr. Haltzman says. “When their partners push them away, they feel rejected not just sexually, but also emotionally.” Many men also fear the situation will get even worse after the baby is born.

Such was the case with Troy, who had an affair during his wife’s third pregnancy. “There was such a focus on her, with all she was going through and about to go through, that I became less and less relevant,” he recalled. At the same time, his wife began rejecting his sexual advances. Although he understood she was feeling insecure about her changing body, the rejection was still difficult to manage. “You only need to be turned away so many times before you get the picture,” he said. Troy’s wife never found out about his infidelity and they remain married today, although he has no regrets.

RELATED: 5 Ways Pregnancy Will Change Your Relationship

“I wanted to feel important and valued,” he said. “And it worked.” This doesn’t mean dads-to-be get a free pass for bad behavior. They should realize that a woman undergoes tremendous physical and emotional changes during pregnancy. A little understanding—on both sides—can go a long way.

Recognize the signs

While infidelity during pregnancy may be more common than we think, you shouldn't necessarily go looking for signs of infidelity. "Be alert in the same way you are alert to giving yourself a breast exam every month,” Dr. Houston said.

Ruth Houston, the founder of InfidelityAdvice.com and author of 2002’s Is He Cheating on You?–829 Telltale Signs, advises expectant moms to be mindful of the relationship challenges that pregnancy can pose. “It’s very important for women to be aware that this is a critical time and to be vigilant,” she advises, adding that potential clues include unexplained absences, strange phone calls, spending more time “at work,” less interest in sex and a greater focus on his appearance.

You have to be aware that hormones may be affecting your thoughts and emotions, Dr. Haltzman cautioned. Rather than jumping to conclusions alone, process your feelings with a trusted confidante outside the family. If a certain behavior seems suspect, ask questions rather than accuse when broaching the subject. “Your first approach may be to ask your partner if he can explain [the behavior in question],” Dr. Haltzman recommended. But because deceit is one of the hallmarks of infidelity, direct accusations will often be met with denial.

According to Dr. Haltzman, the only way to get confirmation may be to do a bit of investigating. Gretchen caught Marcus after reading incriminating text messages on his cellphone. If infidelity is confirmed, it’s time to seek assistance from an outsider. “You need to get a third party, like a therapist, involved to help you sort out what, if anything, is going on,” Dr. Haltzman said.

An ounce of prevention

Despite the challenges pregnancy brings to a relationship, infidelity is not inevitable. One thing you can do is sit down with your partner as early as possible in the pregnancy to discuss what your plans might be if your sexual interest drops. “If you say, ‘I really want to talk about our options if I don’t feel like having sex,’ believe me, he’s going to pay attention,” Dr. Haltzman said. And sex doesn’t have to involve intercourse. “Experiencing sexual release through touch, mouth, or massage speaks very powerfully to men,” he explains.

Reassure your mate that he’s still a priority, too. “Nurture his emotional needs and his need to feel important,” advised Dr. Haltzman. “Encourage him by telling him he’s going to be a great father.” And get him involved in the pregnancy and planning for a baby, focusing on his skills. While he may not want to discuss nursery colors, he may want to build a crib. Difficult as it may feel, actively preventing or addressing the issue can strengthen a relationship. “Infidelity is not a death knell; it’s often just a wake-up call,” Dr. Haltzman says. “Couples can absolutely rebound from this. Remember, you are going to have a child who will really benefit from having two parents in the household,” he added. “If you can find a way to make that happen, you shouldn’t lose the opportunity.”

10 Comments

bd3760318
January 24, 2019
What is actually the best way to tap your spouse’s mobile phone? This is a common question of people who think that their spouses are cheating on them. Many of us experienced the feeling of being suspicious. But it’s not a problem anymore! If you want to start with some low-level snooping on your own, go ahead. But don’t overdo it and, if preliminary indications tend to confirm your suspicions, hire a professional to pick up where you left off and get the “smoking gun” evidence you need.To hire an ethical hacker and Tap cell phone,jailbreaking,employee monitoring,spouse tracking, spy facebook messages,SMS Text,snapchat,whatsapp,all social networking sites,google play,recorder,gmail,skype,linked-in and any hacking and tracking tools of all kind. For any consultation CONTACT:: CYBERLORD582 @GMAIL COM today.
Reply
1 Reply
1. marinmariehelen
  Replied on May 4, 2019
  I need to know how to do the same thing
ALR8133390DW
March 15, 2019
Mine is a bit more different case. I learnt I was 2 months pregnant last year. I never had morning sickness at all but I was always horny, and ate all the time which wasn't unusual for me since I have an eating disorder that comes with either increased appetite for a time followed by lack of appetite and since I had always had irregular periods I never thought much about it. My boyfriend was thrilled with my increased appetite for sex he never complained. But towards the next missed period I had to see a doctor since I have only one ovary but I sometimes I'd get my period every 2 months then a prolonged one of about 2 weeks so this time I was worried. That's when I got the news that I was expecting. We were both thrilled but my guy stopped the sex out of fear for the baby even though the doctor said it was safe. In frustration I started sleeping with my best friend. He and my guy knew each other through me my guy never thought much when he saw us spending time together. Since I had my own business and my guy was employed it used to happen during the day and in the evening when my guy came home I would be feeling sexually satisfied so I wouldn't nag for sex. It went on till my 5th month my best friend didn't mind my belly he just loved the fact that my body was more curvy and my boobs were rounder and heavier. After I asked that we stop for the child's sake he understood but was always there for me for support. Till date my guy has never known and I feel guilty since he has never been one to check out other women. He was always home in time after work which was 45 mins away and only went out with the boys on some weekends and he would be back by 10 or they would just watch a game at our place or we'd do barbecues on weekends. My point is that it's not just men who can cheat during pregnancy some gal pals have done it at least once or twice. My baby girl is about to turn 5 months now
Reply
graigmack20
February 23, 2019
Getting help and assistance from the internet has really helped citizens all around the globe including me. My marital affair with my wife has been full of ups and downs ever since my wife caught me cheating on her with my co-worker and that led to our divorce 4 months ago. I've been in search of help to get her back and never to cheat on her again but i couldn't get the help i wanted not till i was referred to Lord Zakuza online for his ultimate powers. I explained everything to him and he assured me of his work with his powerful spells that my wife will be mine forever within 24 hours and i followed his instructions as said by him and indeed, i got a call from my wife lawyer that my wife needed to see me and now, we are both back together as one lovely happy family. For that reason, i will continue to give Lord Zakuza amazing reviews for the world to know about his good works. Here's his info to get in touch with him. Email: ( doctorzakuzaspelltemple@hotmail.com ), Text or WhatsApp him on +1 (740) 573–9483.
Reply
cindyanthony363
February 22, 2019
My husband left me for a younger woman and I was devastated. It was as if she had him under an evil spell, Paul turned against me overnight without any warning. It happened last year, I was desperate so I used every single spell casting website that I could find with no results. A friend sent me the link to Dr. Todd's site and I contacted him. He started working with me on June. As a result from all of his wonderful work, my man and I are back together. I'm so happy and privileged to have such a great person like you on my side. Thank you! Todd's contact manifestspellcast @ gmail. com
Reply
norm216
February 2, 2019
It should be noted that pregnancy doesn't only lead to cheating by the husband. Once pregnant, the woman knows she won't be getting pregnant again during this gestation period. This allows her the freedom to cheat without the consequence of pregnancy. So, if someone at work, the gym, wherever has caught her fancy; she can easily cheat with the repercussion of pregnancy. A woman could also cheat right after she had sex with her husband and if she got pregnant, no one would be the wiser without a DNA test of the child.
Reply
tomfrias75
January 26, 2019
I got reviews online about spyexpert0@gmail.com how he has helped so many people and i also needed access to my wife whats-app and also all her deleted text messages, chats and many more cause she has been acting up so i had to do this by hacking her phone behold after the hack i had access to her phone right on my phone i read all her deleted chats with her boss and from all the conversations she was deeply in a relationship with the man . am happy cause i found this at the early stage thanks.
Reply
emilystamper130
January 23, 2019
it is actually annoying getting pregnant and not getting the deserved attention and care from your partner or worse still, he is cheating. you can try my investigator at DARKVENUS@PROTONMAIL.COM to find out the deepest secrets from his computer and put your partner back to check
Reply
kaneroberts963
January 22, 2019
I would love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos I never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me. The girl I want to get marry to left me few weeks to our wedding for another man. When I called her she never picked my calls, She blocked me on her facebook and changed her facebook status from engage to Single, when I went to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me. I lost my job as a result of this cos I couldn't get myself anymore, my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life. I tried all I could do to have her back to all did not work out until I met a Man when I travel to East to execute some business that I have been developing some years back. I told him my problem and all I have passed through in getting her back and how I lost my job, he told me he gonna help me, I didn't believe that in the first place. But he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets’ was amazed when I heard that from him...he said he will cast a spell for me and I will see the results in the next couple of days..then I travel back, the following day and i called him when I got home and he said he’s busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells, he said am gonna see positive results in the next 14 days that is Thursday. My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done. She said, she never knew what she was doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again. It was like am dreaming when I heard that from her and when we ended the call, I called the man and told him my girl friend called and he said I haven’t seen anything yet… he said I will also get my job back. And when its Sunday, they called me at my place of work that I should resume work on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit I have spent at home without working...My life is back into shape have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with a baby boy and I have my job back too. This man is really powerful...if we have up to 20 people like him in the world, the world would have been a better place...He has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now...Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help. You can mail him to ineedhelp@solution4u.com, I can’t give out his number cos he told me he don’t want to be disturbed by many people across the world...he said his email is okay and he also have a web site if you want to visit him there’ he will replied to any emails asap..Hope he helped u out too...good luck. His web site is everythingisforgood. webs . com
Reply
GoldSandy
January 17, 2019
Why are everyone looking for ways online to get help solving their pregnancy problems when most of every native American is talking online about the help of Priest Odunga. I checked him out when my husband who could not get me pregnant for over 6 years of marriage as a result of low sperm count became fertile and now I am 4 months pregnant and it is this man known as Priest Odunga who helped my husband's problem. My name is Stacy Williams from Idaho, USA. I would advice anyone and everyone who needs the help of any spell caster in getting their ex back or trying to conceive to meet this Priest Odunga at his mail or email at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com for He is Reliable and true. I and my husband have gone to different hospitals having the thinking that I was at fault for not getting pregnant. But at the Federal hospital, they examined him too and his sperm count was low and unable to get a woman pregnant as a result of male infertility. It was then I sort out for the help of spell casters in getting pregnant and I contacted Priest Odunga and he solved my problem once and for all. Immediately I payed for the items he said he would use, I became pregnant after sleeping with my husband. It is very real to be helped by a spell caster in fertility and conception. After 6 years of waiting, I am finally going to have my baby with me. Email odungaspelltemple@gmail.com to save your marriage and be a happy family
Reply
rebeccatopper9
January 2, 2019
Thank you for this post. Today makes it the 9th month since i divorced my husband. I found out he was cheating with the help of this great hacker. These days it is very easy to cheat and hard to find out but this man cleared my doubts by hacking into his phone (social media apps) and i got to know why he has been so stingy and unromantic. The best part is that i used the information as evidence against him and i got my reward. Y'all be wise independent ladies out there and act fast, you can use my personal hacker contact him at; [pyramideye.hack@outlook.com] He is reliable and can work any cyber issue out for you. Have a nice day
Reply