6 Ways to Keep Your Pregnancy Quiet Until You're Ready to Reveal It

There are many reasons to keep a pregnancy quiet. Maybe you're trying not to jeopardize a promotion. Maybe you don't want to experience a miscarriage publicly. Or maybe you're just not in the mood for everyone's tales of morning sickness.

Whatever the reason, the timing of when to share your pregnancy is your choice. In addition to concealing your first-trimester pregnant body, you may also have to mask pregnancy-related behaviors, like feeling sick or being sober at social events (if you're typically not).

Read on for some ideas on how to appear not pregnant when you're constantly nauseous and blatantly sober.

Tell People You're Sick

A sick person has every excuse to look nauseous and not drink. However, this may understandably make some people feel uncomfortable—after all, they don't want to catch whatever communicable illness you may supposedly have. So, be prepared to explain that you're not contagious anymore.

Tell People You're Doing a Dry January and February and March

Sometimes the only way to convince people you're not pregnant is to pretend you're experimenting with being sober. People take breaks from drinking for all kinds of reasons. Some people want to save money, others want to improve their physical health, and still others want to have a more balanced relationship with alcohol.

You can pick any or all of the above reasons, and you can even cite a study to really show your commitment. Here's one: A 2020 study in Psychology and Health found that people who participated in abstinence during Dry January had increases in overall well-being and general self-efficacy.

Say You're Trying a Weird New Diet

This will explain not only your crankiness but also why you're mostly just eating crackers and vitamins. The latest dieting trend is bread. You heard it on NPR.

Tell Everyone You're Sick Again

"You sure have been sick a lot lately," people will say. "Yes, that's right," you'll say. "It's just one of those summers."

Never Go Anywhere

Simply avoid bars, restaurants, parties, and basically everywhere your friends are hanging out and having fun. You may feel horribly isolated, but you'll avoid someone asking, "Wait, why aren't you drinking? Oh my god, are you pregnant?!" while you do a terrible job of looking astounded by that question.

Order a Mocktail and Act Like You're Drunk Already

This is apparently what everyone needs from you in order to relax?

If all else fails, and everyone does start asking, "Wait, are you pregnant?" Tell them, "Yes, but please don't tell anyone! It's still a secret." Everyone in the room will know, but at least Marissa will stop asking you why you won't have "just one glass" of wine.

Excerpted from There's No Manual: Honest, Gory Wisdom About Having a Baby by Beth Newell and Jackie Ann Ruiz with permission of Avery, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright © Beth Newell and Jackie Ann Ruiz, 2020.