Love and Pregnancy: Can a Baby Save Your Struggling Relationship?

Could getting knocked up save you from breaking up? We asked the experts.
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In some rare cases (i.e. Hollywood movies that usually don't reflect reality), bringing a baby into the world can bring a couple closer together. Having a baby can create a bond that encourages mature personal growth and strengthens a couple's commitment to each other -- but that doesn't happen overnight, and more often, it doesn't happen at all. Remember how long it took Seth Rogen's character in Knocked Up to start living like a grown up? Fragile love and pregnancy aren't necessarily the combination you want. A struggling relationship only becomes more complicated and typically ends up dissolving faster when additional pressure is put on one or both partners.

Speaking of pressure, having a baby on the way can fan the flames of discontent and insecure attachment. "Pregnancy immediately changes the dynamic of the relationship and causes estrangement -- it's hard for men to understand what women are going through, creating a divide," says Craig Malkin, Ph.D., a psychologist in Cambridge, MA. Especially when it's not something he signed up for willingly -- suddenly being responsible for the health of the baby and the wellbeing of the mother is a lot for someone who didn't want to make a commitment in the first place. And it's very easy for an arrangement that was fun and carefree before the stick turned pink to feel forced after, so you shouldn't expect your partner to be ready to tie the knot just because you're expecting. "It's important to be honest with each other and share your expectations about your relationship before you become pregnant," says Malkin.

The bottom line? Trying to save a doomed relationship by getting pregnant just doesn't work. In fact, the fear of losing his attention only increases when a baby is tossed into the mix. "Something very primal happens during pregnancy," says Cathy O'Neil, co-author of the book Babyproofing Your Marriage. "A woman's hormones create a sense of panic and fear that her partner is going to leave. She becomes overly controlling and concerned about his safety, because she doesn't want to be left on her own to care for the baby." This can put an intense amount of strain on any relationship, but it's especially detrimental to one that already shows cracks in its foundation. "Men don't want to feel trapped or controlled," says O'Neil.

Don't try to force closeness by getting pregnant. Instead, take a break and reevaluate the partnership. You might realize the relationship isn't worth the struggle any longer, or you could discover a renewed sense of attraction -- remember, absence can make the heart grow fonder.

Copyright ? 2013 Meredith Corporation.

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2 Comments

  1. I am sharing this testimony to partners suffering in their relationships because there is an enduring solution.
    My husband left me and our 2 kids for another woman for 3 years. I tried to be strong just for my kids but I could not control the pains that torment my heart. I was hurt and confused. I needed a help, so i did a research on the internet and came across a site where I saw that Dr. Todd a spellcaster, can help get lovers back. I contacted him and he did a special prayer and spells for me. To my surprises, after some days, my husband came back home. That was how we reunited again and there was a lot of love, joy and peace in the family.
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  2. Hello. My names Kimberley, before you ask, no this is not fake. I’m from Australia and I was in desperate need of a way to fall pregnant. I’d tried everything, literally everything. Upon watching a video just like this one and the ones I’ve commented on, I came across a testimony of a spell caster named Dr. Bolingo. Yes I know, you probably won’t believe me, but keep reading on, please. I was desperate for a way to fall pregnant as me and my partner were desperately wanting a child of our own. I messaged him and on the same day, not even a few hours later, I got a reply (on whatsapp), and from there we talked about what I wanted and how he could help. He was nothing but nice, extremely friendly and replied back almost instantly or as fast as he could. He didn’t charge much at all, and only charges for items he has to use and buy for the specialised spells he does, and from there I got results. A week in and I started getting pregnancy symptoms (mind you we struggled to fall pregnant naturally and nothing was working) and so I waited a little to make sure i wasn’t imagining things. On the two week mark, I took a test, not getting my hopes up and not expecting anything. It was positive!! A miracle had happened, literally! This baby is a miracle, a living breathing miracle, and the work Dr. Bolingo does for you is also a miracle. He has a very long range of spells he can do for you, so please don’t hesitate to contact him on WhatsApp or email.

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    I promise you won’t regret contacting him. ☺️


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