When author Jenny Mollen was pregnant with her second son, Lazlo, she was convinced she wouldn't love this baby as much as her first, Sid. She quickly learned a mother's love is infinite.

By Jenny Mollen
December 05, 2018
Advertisement
Credit: Anna Wolf

Q: I’m pregnant with our second child, and I’m convinced I won’t love this baby as much as my first. Is this normal? If so, what’s the fix?

A: When I was pregnant with my second son, Lazlo, I had the same doubts as you, and I think it’s a perfectly natural way to feel. I even felt like that when I was pregnant with my first son, Sid. I prayed every night that I would love him as much as I did my dog, Teets.

Teets was the first love of my life. He walked me down my wedding aisle. Though I was eager to start a life with Jason, it was understood that there would be a part of me that belonged to someone else. Jason knew that if the three of us were flying over the Andes and the plane crashed, Teets and I would have to eat him for survival. There would be no hard feelings.

Once Sid arrived, though, nothing I’d had with Teets mattered. I tried to hide any obvious signs of favoritism, but it was no use. Sid was my son, and I would have eaten both Jason and Teets if they’d tried to come between us.

When I became pregnant the second time, a feeling of dread returned and washed over me. I’d seen how fairweather I was with my dog, dropping him so quickly. Sid and I had been bonding for three years. I’d sung to him, swaddled him, dedicated books to him, built Lego temples in his honor. This outsider inside me, this impostor second son, was going to try to diminish all that we had created. Days before my scheduled C-section, I was lying on Sid’s floor, and I wept. I wept because his life was about to be forever changed. I wept because I knew he wouldn’t be everything, but just be part of everything. I wept because I was going to have to multitask, and I’m bad at multitasking. This baby was going to ruin everything.

Laz arrived with barely a cry. Sounding more like a box of kittens than a baby, he was placed on my chest and the chemistry was as instant as it was frightening. It wasn’t until the meds wore off that I remembered I got to keep both children. We took Laz home a day early after nearly naming him Sid 2 because we couldn’t think of anything cuter.

At home, Sid still had the advantage. He could charm us with observations that left Laz in the dust. But as Laz started to be his own person, my feelings blossomed. He was different from his brother, more chill and potentially less neurotic. I was also a different mother, more self-assured.

Laz is now 1 year old, and I’ve come to understand how women have three or more children. A mother’s love is remarkable. There’s not a finite amount. Remember this: You are going to have enough love in you for your new baby that will have nothing to do with the love you have for the one who came before. The mistake is thinking that it’s the same love. In reality, they are separate relationships, equally important and all-consuming. I love Sid because he’s Sid and Laz because he’s Laz. I love Jason a little too. But he’s no Sid or Laz :)

This story originally appeared in Parents magazine as “Ask Jenny!”

Comments (3)

Anonymous
May 22, 2020
I'm so excited my broken Marriage has been restored and my husband is back after he left me and our 2 kids for another woman. After 8 years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to be with another woman. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Oniha can help get ex back fast. So I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it, then he did a (Love spell) for me. 48 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before,All thanks to Dr Oniha. I will continue to tell everyone about how your spell work Dr Oniha because you are a God sent to me. You can also contact him if you need help to solve your problem, he will be of help to you.  Email:onihaspelltemple@gmail. com.  Call/Whatsapp +16692213962  
Anonymous
May 8, 2020
Strong And Powerful Love Spell To Win Your Ex Back.. I have decided that i am going to spend the whole day on the internet just to make sure that a lot of people are able to read this my testimony about Dr.happy who is a powerful spell caster from Africa, After been abandon by my lover i was so lonely that very day that i decided to go through the net for some relationships tips, I never knew that this was the road map that will secure the return of my lover. After reading a lot of tips on how to restore my relationship in a more better way i discovered that Dr.happy has a lot of recommendation than other spell casters, So with this i had my mind made up that Dr.happy was the right person for the job, And i contacted Dr.happy through his details which i saw on the internet and i was so happy that i chose to work with Dr.happy because his work was 100% perfect and the spell brought my lover back to me with fast relief you can also contact him for help now email.. happylovespell2@gmail.com Website...happylovespell2.webnode.com/ Whatsapp/cal +2348133873774
Anonymous
April 20, 2020
Ever since my husband got me divorced for the past 2 years, i v'e not been my self. I was reviewing some post of how i could get back my husband then, i saw a testimony shared by Marina Choas from SWEDEN about a spell caster named Dr. tunde. I contacted Marina Chaos to confirm about how Dr. tunde helped her and she clarified everything to me of how he helped her and that gave me the courage to get in touch with Dr. tunde for help. Dr. tunde assured me that my days of sorrows will be over within 48hours after he has finished with his work. I followed his instructions he gave to me because i had the believe, faith, hope and trust in him. Verily i say to you today that i and my husband are back together and i can proudly say and testify to the world of what Dr. tunde did for me. Contact him today via E-mail:(babatundesolutioncentre1@gmail.com) OR call him or whatsapp him +2348143581382 if you seek his help. Also specialize in treating all kinds of illness, HERPES VIRUS, HEPATITIS B, CANCER, BRAIN DISEASE, INFERTILITY, DIABETES AND MORE