Pregnant and Envious of His Thin Ex

Why your jealousy might be an indication of larger concerns.

Q. Recently, my husband and I went out to dinner and ran into his ex-girlfriend. He told her how great she looked, right in front of me -- and the worst part is that it's true. She's skinny and fit, and now I feel completely inferior since I'm pregnant and the size of a whale! I can't stop thinking about how he must regret ending up with me.

A. Pregnancy can make you feel like you're doomed to wear elastic waistbands and suffer odd crying spells forever. But quit beating up on yourself! Sure, your guy's ex looks great. Maybe she's got all the time in the world to exercise and get her hair done. So what? This man is your husband, not hers, and you're the one having his baby.

If you can't let go of your worries after this chance encounter, blame those pregnancy hormones -- or, it may be that you're anxious about a larger issue. Are you jealous because your husband hasn't complimented you lately, but he always seems to do so with other women? Has your lovemaking tapered off during your pregnancy? Are you afraid that your husband will be unfaithful? Or are you simply concerned about your weight gain and fretting over how you'll get your body back? Explain your feelings to your husband. "Tell him that you need reassurance of his love and loyalty, especially during this time of great change for both of you," says Jane Rosen-Grandon, PhD, a marriage and family therapist in Greensboro, North Carolina.

Holly Robinson is a writer outside of Boston.