If you're pregnant, chances are you're being asked these questions. And if you need the right comeback for them, this thread has you covered.

By Zara Hanawalt
July 22, 2021
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An image of a pregnant woman's belly.
Credit: Getty Images.

Fielding rude questions and comments is practically inevitable when you're pregnant. From the standard "Oh my gosh, you are ready to pop!" (no, Ethel, I actually have another three months to go), to the truly vicious insults a la "They say girls steal your beauty so I think you're having a little princess!" (rude and sexist, but OK), people can't seem to grasp that basic decency and etiquette apply when dealing with pregnant people as well.

If you've ever been on the receiving end of one of the many insulting things pregnant people have to hear, you know how offensive—and sometimes flat-out hurtful—they can be. But you might not know how to react to them. What do you say to the nice old couple who asks you if you're sure it's not twins? How do you handle the presumably well-meaning aunt who promises to "pray you have a girl" so you won't "be stuck with another boy?"

Well, here are your answers: A pregnant Reddit user started a thread proposing some brutally honest answers to those rude questions so many of us have faced. For example, when someones asks, "You haven't felt the baby yet? You should've by now!" the answer is: "No I haven't, are you suggesting the baby died in my belly?"

And if you're one of the unlucky pregnant people who experiences morning sickness (which is really just a cute name for 24/7 nausea and round-the-clock vomiting) and someone dares to tell you they were never sick during their pregnancy? Hit 'em with "That's great, now I feel even worse!" And if someone puts additional societal pressure to "bounce back" on you with a comment along the lines of "if you breastfeed long enough your body will snap right back," this thread's author suggests you reply with: "Okay, and what if I'm one of the 60% of women who are unable to breastfeed for as long as they want to? What ever will I do then?"

The original post details eight rude-comment-brutally-honest-answer pairs, but of course the comments section serve up even more of the wild things pregnant people have heard. "My nana has said multiple times throughout my pregnancy that she wasn't sick a single day with any of her kids and that its because God knew how much she wanted a baby," one commenter writes. "Like okay, I guess us going through IVF doesn't indicate how badly we wanted a baby? I have no control over being sick."

Another commenter weighs in to share her reaction to that thing pretty every expectant parent ever has heard. "'Sleep now, you'll be tired when the baby comes!' was like rubbing salt in the wound with my pregnancy insomnia, I had in fact already considered trying to get a good night's sleep," the commenter writes. Another gives her a great idea for a comeback, writing: "Thanks for the advice. I planned on staying out partying all night. Maybe I'll put in one hour of sleep. After 10 shots of vodka I always feel so tired. Or maybe [I'll] just have a smoke and coffee. That will wake me up."

Speaking of incredibly common things pregnant people hear, another user shares her experience with another classic. "'Are you sure you're not having twins?' My response is always 'yes I'm 100% sure technology has changed since the 1800s when you had a baby,'" she writes. "Its always much older women and they always ask multiple times. I've gained all of my weight in my belly I look the same from the back. Still nothing beats my mother-in-law calling me 'fat girl' constantly since I've started showing." Wow. Really?!

The hits just keep on coming. "I hate being asked how the baby is doing (while I am still pregnant, and if the person doesn't ask how I'm doing)," one commenter writes. "I'm always tempted to say 'I don't know, why don't you ask them.'" Another commenter shares a clap back for this question: "I always said 'alive, I think.' And it surprised most people lol."

This thread is a prime example of all the stuff pregnant people have to deal with (you know, on top of the sickness and the insomnia and the restrictions and the wild discomfort and the swelling and the...well, you get it). It needs to stop. And who knows? Maybe if we all start adopting some of these brutally honest responses to these age-old questions and comments, maybe it will someday.