Pregnant with Your Ex's Baby? You're In Good Company
Pregnancy brings on lots of nerves and lots of "big conversations" with your partner, like "How are we going to afford everything this baby needs?" "What type of parents do we want to be?" "What values are we going to instill in our child?" "What religion will the kiddo be raised with?" "Will I go back to work after baby?"
When your family expands, whether the pregnancy was planned or not, there are so many things to consider! Your world has just been thrown for a big loop-de-loop, and your head is still spinning (at least mine was)! But things are even more complicated when you're no longer with the person who, well, sperminated you.
It was recently revealed that actor Emile Hirsch's ex, who lives in Florida, is pregnant with his kid, and is due in February. According to a Daily News report, Emile—whose home base is California—wants to be a part of the baby's life and hopes to negotiate visitation rights without involving a lawyer. It sounds like the two are in a very healthy place—at least for now.
We all know breakups can get nasty. Add a child to the mix and pregnancy hormones, and things could get even uglier fast. But I hope for the sake of the baby things remain civil. The best thing to do in that situation is to always put the child first. His or her needs are more important than your petty grudges with your ex. So sometimes it requires being the bigger person, and letting things go (even if you have a really good zinger—remember the baby and bite your tongue). Unless your ex is truly toxic with abuse issues of any sort (physical, emotional or drug and alcohol-related), your baby is going to benefit from having both parents in its life.
I know it's easier said than done, but try not to get too emotionally upset, because when you're pregnant, your baby goes through everything you go through. If you're stressed out, the baby feels it. If you're depressed and don't eat, that wreaks havoc on the baby too. Not sleeping at night? No rest for you means a more difficult pregnancy overall. So always put your and your baby's health first.
Surround yourself with close family and friends so you have a support system, since your ex likely won't be part of your inner circle anymore. And, though he may not be there for you emotionally, remember he does have a legal obligation as the father to help you financially through child support. According to the American Pregnancy Association, paternity can now be proven while you're in your 9th to 10th weeks of pregnancy (depending on the procedure).
Hopefully for everyone involved, keeping communication open and irrational arguments at bay will make things easier all around, both during and after your pregnancy.
TELL US: Have you gone through a pregnancy break up? How did you cope?
Image of Emile Hirsch courtesy of Shutterstock.