Of course I'm obsessed with the frenzy around Kate Middleton's Bump Watch (who isn't?). So I'm reading anything and everything I can get my hands on about her pregnancy. Us Weekly reports that if the Duchess of Cambridge goes into labor early, while she is still in Anglesey, Wales, that she will be flown—in a helicopter—to London's St. Mary's Hospital, which is 70 minutes away. I want to go on record as saying this plan is bananas!
Don't even get me started on helicopter safety. According to Slate, they are a staggering 85 times more dangerous than cars! That jarring fact aside, I know it's extremely rare for first-time moms to deliver babies so quickly (the average labor for a first-timer is 14 hours; while women who've given birth before tend to have an average labor of 8 hours), but there is an ever-so-slight chance that the future prince or princess could be born in a cramped helicopter! It's not that outrageous of a thought, actually. This woman from Michigan didn't think her husband would be delivering her baby in their car on the side of the freeway, either. But that's exactly what happened. She wasn't due for three more weeks, so she thought it was impossible for her to be going into labor. But after about four and a half hours of contractions, they hopped in the car to go to the hospital and—boom—baby on board!
I live in New York City, land of subways, busses and taxis and very high parking rates ($500 a month in our neighborhood!). My husband and I don't have a car, so we knew that we'd be taking a taxi to the hospital when I was ready to deliver. My husband had nightmares about this (literally). With us living in lower Manhattan and my hospital being all the way on the Upper East Side, he was terrified that I'd go into labor in bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic and that he would have to be the one to deliver our son in the back of a dirty taxi with the baby's first smell being some awful mixture of incense and vomit. Oh, and did I mention that my husband's so squeamish about blood that he almost passes out when he gets a paper cut? Yep, it's that bad.
I, on the other hand, was convinced I would have an excruciatingly long labor that would go on for days, so there was no chance I'd be so lucky enough to give birth within a mere few hours. Needless to say, when my water broke at 4 am and we immediately found a taxi and made it to the hospital safely, then had the baby eight hours later (many of those hours I actually slept through!), we were both extremely relieved.
I hope for Kate and William's sake that their baby's birth goes as smoothly as ours, and that there are no transportation-related birth surprises in their future. Though, if Kate did deliver the royal heir in a helicopter—or even a car—that would make for an amazing news story, and I would devour every word of it!
TELL US: If you're already a mom, how long were you in labor? Did you end up having the baby in a strange place?
Image of helicopter courtesy of Shutterstock.