20 Signs You're Ready to Have a Baby
Some women are born with the urge to reproduce; others ease into the idea more gradually. Wherever you fall on the TTC spectrum, here are twenty indicators that the time has come to throw caution—and birth control—to the wind:
1. Literally everywhere you turn there's a baby. There actually isn't; they're just on your radar. Like, hard.
2. You've kicked yourself black and blue for giving your dog your favorite name. It wouldn't be that weird to have a baby and a beagle named Niko, would it?
3. You sneak into a maternity store and try on clothes when no one is looking. Bonus readiness points for taking a few mirror selfies with the strap-on bump and sending them to your hubby or BFF.
4. You get jealous when you see a mom pushing the stroller you've already picked out. Sure it costs as much as a decent used car, but nothing is too good for your unborn future baby.
5. You're so in tune with your lady parts you can actually feel it when you ovulate. "Just dropped an egg, in case anyone was wondering."
6. You have a secret NURSERY board on Pinterest. And you've been known to lose sleep wondering if teepees and sheepskin will still be in by the time you get knocked up.
7. You've ruined a dinner party by casually asking the table, "So what do you guys think of circumcision?" Well, you need to know!
8. You can get a lousy night's sleep and still function the next day. Sustain this for four years straight and you're as ready as they come.
9. You find an excuse to cut through the baby section every time you're in Target. Every once in a while, something impossibly cute and tiny might even throw itself into your cart.
10. You can think of worse things than living in yoga pants and spit-up stained t-shirts for a year or so. You even secretly look forward to trading in your sling-backs for Birkenstocks for nine blissful months.
11. You stock up on Clearblue home pregnancy tests even before your period is late. Your rationale: When you're actually pregnant, you may be too tired for a drugstore run!
12. When your cat barfs on your new bedspread, you feel nothing but concern for her well-being. If there were actual YOU'RE READY signs, this one would be made of twenty-foot flashing neon letters.
13. You're suddenly extremely interested in every food's folic acid content. A girl can learn to love leafy greens, right?
14. You've grilled your own mom about her labor and delivery experiences. Now you just hope things have improved with twenty-plus years of medical advances.
15. Your Google search history contains questions like "how does caffeine affect a growing fetus?" BECAUSE COFFEE.
16. You stand sideways in the mirror a lot, just trying to imagine what you'll look like with a bump. Probably a lot like Gisele Bundchen... right?
17. You've checked all of your neighborhood schools' rankings on GreatSchools.org. Searching for local preschools on Yelp isn't far behind.
18. You've got more than seventy bucks in the bank. No seriously. Kids are freaking expensive (think at least eighteen grand a year, which adds up to a third of a mil by the time they graduate college).
19. It's all you can do to hide your envy when another friend announces she's pregnant. You're still happy for her... you'd just rather be happy with her.
20. You already know exactly how you'll tell your partner. Hint: It involves poetry and body paint and you're positive it will go viral.