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Raw Post Makes an Important Point About Infant Loss: 'I Am Not Alone'

This mom's post about miscarriage, stillbirth and infant loss touches on the grief these outcomes bring...and the fact that they're more common than you'd think.

It's easy to look at a picture of a happy mom and her beautiful children and think everything is perfect—but in many cases, what you're not seeing is the painful experience of a miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss. And these things happen more often than you might think.

Real mom Stacey Skrysak just opened up about this very topic in an emotional social media post. Skrysak shared a beautiful photo of herself and her adorable daughter along with a caption about her painful experience.

"Only one child appears in this photo, but I am a mother to three children…one triplet on earth and two in heaven," the mother wrote. "What you don’t see in this photo is the pain. The pain of holding a child as she takes her final breath. The pain of planning a funeral, instead of decorating a nursery. The pain that lingers, years after that final goodbye."

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Skrysak also pointed out that her story isn't an uncommon one: Many, many pregnancies—about 1 in 4—end in loss, and woman should be able to discuss these painful experiences, or at very least, understand that they're not alone in them.

"Losing a child is devastating. It can also be extremely isolating," Skrysak told Parents.com. "I remember shortly after losing our first triplet feeling so lost. I was numb and in a daze, unsure of how I would survive after loss. It wasn't until after I went public, sharing more about my experience, that I realized there are so many parents who also have experienced a devastating loss. By sharing the moments of heartache and finding life after loss, I'm able to help other parents...all while honoring and remembering my two triplets in heaven.​"

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But while we have more and more couples coming forward to share their experiences, Skrysak said she doesn't believe we've come far enough. 

"It breaks my heart when I hear from an older woman who was never able to even hold their child after he or she passed 50 years ago," she said. "It's definitely become more accepting, but we have a ways to go. Parents are not supposed to outlive their child, so it's understanding that the loss of a baby can make some people uncomfortable. But, I think I speak for many moms when I say we long for the moments when somebody mentions the name of our children who passed. Whether they were alive for only a few moments or a few months, or only alive in the womb, these babies existed and will never be forgotten."

Ultimately, Skrysak shared this post to let other women who have suffered similar experiences that they're not alone

"Grief never goes away, but in my experience, it changes over time," Skrysak said. "You learn how to live with the memories you have of your child and you do eventually find life after loss. I will never be the same person I was pre-loss, but I wouldn't want to be. My triplets gave me strength I never knew possible and they taught me live each day to the fullest. As I look at our lone surviving triplet, I can see all three within her. Life isn't perfect, but we have learned how to love and live, even after losing two of our children.​"