Family Life Fun All Work and No Play: The State of Kids’ Free Time Play is serious business—but kids today have less unstructured time for it than ever before. No matter the age or stage, here’s how caregivers can encourage their children to have fun—and get in on the action, too. By Parents Editors Updated on March 3, 2023 Medically reviewed by Wayne Fleisig, Ph.D. Share Tweet Pin Email A Letter From Parents' Editor-In-Chief Confession time: I eavesdrop on my children. Yes, every time I hear them playing with their dolls, I hold my breath for a few seconds and listen in. If you’re shaking your head, let me explain. My daughters are 9 and 7 and sometimes they don’t want to share details of their day. They’re tired. They can’t remember. Maybe they just don’t want to talk about it. I get it. But paying attention to the narratives and characters they create during this unstructured time gives me insights into how they see themselves and those around them. More importantly, these moments of pretend play equip them with a variety of skills—problem-solving, collaboration, creativity, the list goes on—to make sense of the world. As Fred Rogers once said, “Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children, play is serious learning.” Yet, between shortened recess, increased homework loads, and constant test prep, my fourth and second graders aren’t getting enough time in the day to just, well, play. Chances are that your kids aren’t either. In fact, numerous studies point to the decline of free time due to academic pressure. This trend and the pandemic’s effect on how kids socialize (cue Minecraft and Roblox!) prompted us to take a deep dive into what play looks like now. Because while you and I may have spent the bulk of our free time offline as children, most kids today are drawn to digital devices. The reason? These virtual spaces give them a sense of community and connectedness that, according to research, enhances their well-being. This is also true for Black teens who are able to band together online, despite the underwhelming number of Black protagonists in games and the racial microaggressions they often experience in these spaces. Teenagers in general benefit from any type of play. It reduces stress, protects their mental health, and brings them joy. And who doesn’t want to infuse more happiness into their child’s daily life? I’m not saying you should dust off the costume box in the basement for your 16-year-old. But getting involved in the fun—even leading it—goes a long way for kids, no matter their age. Before you get all melting-face-emoji on me from exhaustion, know that play can be defined a bunch of different ways. Building a puzzle, wrestling, shoveling snow (some chores count!)—take your pick. In my house, we play dominoes together. It’s a game I learned as a child through osmosis during my family’s epic tournaments. We would carve out the time to play because it was something we all enjoyed, including my abuelita, whose competitive streak may have been passed down to my kids. These girls don’t like to lose! Yet, I refuse to just let them win. Not only is it more fun for my husband and myself, but I also know that competitive play builds resilience. We just need to keep working on their sportsmanship. Because those in-between moments when I see them sorting and classifying their dominoes or strategizing their next move are truly worth making the effort. Plus, the old proverb about all work and no play making for a dull existence goes for grownups, too. So, how do you play together as a family? If you don’t yet, hopefully we can inspire you to get in on the fun. — Grace Bastidas Kids Need Play—No Matter What It Looks Like Are Your Kids Play-Deprived? Independent Outdoor Play Is Critical for Kids—Here's How Parents Can Help The Benefits of Screen Time in Play That Parents Need to Know Rough Play Is Good For Your Kids—Here’s Why Kindred at Play Play Benefits Black Kids—These 8 Places Give Them More Access to It Black Gamers Find Community—and Racism—Online Inequalities Cause Black Kids to Miss Extracurricular Activities' Benefits Play Is Critical for Growth Why Parents Should Encourage Their Teens To Play More An Age-by-Age Guide to SEL Activities for Kids and Teens 10 Types of Play for Child Development What Toddler Social Development Looks Like: Ages 1 and 4 Play Inspo for Every Stage and Season Best Toys Awards 2022 5 Benefits of Pretend Play An Age-By-Age Guide to Sensory Toys 18 Fun Outdoor Games for Kids Your Child's Imaginary Friends, Explained I'm a Parent and Play Expert: Here Are 6 Activities That Are So Good for Your Kids 17 Fun Learning Activities for Kids Activities to Keep Kids Busy While You're Working From Home 21 Fun Games to Play in the Car 10 Popular Kids Games From Around the World Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Tell us why! Other Submit