Any miscarriage is devastating. From the minute that little strip turns pink or the plus sign shows up on the pregnancy test, your mind starts spinning dreams, and you begin making plans for a wonderful new addition. Miscarriage pulls all those hopes to grinding halt, and can even make a mom-to-be question whether she is at fault for the loss of pregnancy (even though most miscarriages are chromosomal or genetic and have nothing to do with the choices of the pregnant woman.)
Because of the insane amounts of grief that can come with miscarriage, many moms-to-be choose to keep their news private, or at least contained to a small group of family and very close friends. But in late term miscarriages, most people already know that you're pregnant, meaning that a widespread miscarriage announcement is pretty unavoidable. Sadly, that's the situation that Jack Osbourne and his wife, Lisa Stelly, have found themselves in. Already a mom to 16-month-old daughter, Pearl, Lisa announced on her blog, raddest mom, that she and Jack had suffered a miscarriage last week. "I have been dreading this announcement," Lisa wrote, "I needed some time before being able to say it. Jack and I lost our baby boy this week. Having a late term miscarriage is by far the hardest thing either of us have ever had to go through."
I've never suffered a miscarriage myself and will not say I can imagine what it feels like (because I can't), but a few years ago, a friend of mine went through the horror of losing a pregnancy. She had just announced that she and her husband were expecting, and we were all psyched for another cutie in her brood. I popped a fun little present in the mail to her—only to find out the next day that she'd miscarried. I felt horrible, not only for her immeasurable loss, but also because my cheerful "hooray baby!" package likely arrived in the days after her pregnancy ended, pouring unintentional salt in her very fresh wounds. We never spoke of the gift, in fact, I like to think it's something her husband deftly intercepted from the postman and never told her about—but I'm sure mine weren't the only well-wishes with terrible timing.
Neither Lisa Stelly nor my friend had the option of privately dealing with their pain—but many other women do, especially since most miscarriages occur during the first eight weeks after conception, before the big baby news has typically been spread. But even some of those women who could keep the whole things under wraps choose to talk openly about their losses either to gain support of their friends and family when they need it most, or to help erase the stigma of miscarriage and show others that they are not alone. Earlier this year, Beyoncé revealed that she had previously suffered a miscarriage, and explained why she kept it a secret until after having Blue Ivy.
If you miscarried, would you (or did you) tell anyone besides your partner and your closest family members? Was it helpful to have all the support possible? For Jack Osbourne and Lisa Stelly, I'm hoping that's the case.