Latina Mommy

After Having Babies, Thinking About Sex Makes Me...

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Cringe!

Dealing with an infant and a tantrum-prone toddler is exhausting! By the time my hubby and I have fed the kids, bathed them, and read them their favorite bedtime story, it's usually around 9:00 p.m. The last thing on my mind is being intimate with my husband. It's not him, it's totally me!

I mean, let's be honest, after the daily grind of work, coupled with the emotional mommy roller coaster I tend to ride, I'm just not feeling sex. I struggle with guilt and inadequacy when I think back on some parenting decisions I've made. I recall daily happenings, like allowing my oldest, Hudson, to watch videos on the Kindle while he eats his dinner. I am human. I screw up daily, and those screw ups make me feel, well, unsexy. It's hard for me to turn the passion switch on, when I struggle with so many thoughts running through my mind. This means, there's no sex for me—or for my man!

Lately, I've been reading articles about how you should make time for date nights after having kids, and in many of those articles the experts recommend getting to know each other all over again. Blah, blah, blah. On those rare occasions when we can fit a date in, my sole objective is getting in a good meal and a glass (or dos) of vino in peace!

I enjoy these tender moments with my husband, when I don't have to worry about my little buddy Hudson asking me to come lay down with him while my other sweetheart attempts the vertical crawl—up mama's leg. Besides, those super suave dating days are over! For me, it's all about moving forward and appreciating my husband as the loving father that he is.

Okay, so maybe the heat of our relationship has iced over by the chilling screams of our two children. They do sometimes seem to be the only sources of evidence confirming my husband and I once enjoyed making love to each other.

Relationships do evolve, transform even. And I'm all for embracing that meaningful evolution. Sex may not be the daily, weekly, or even monthly occurrence it used to be, but the love I feel for my guy is better than all of that. My heart leaps when I watch my husband interact with our children, and it makes me fall in love with him all over again! When I see my little one crawl up to his daddy for cuddles and kisses, and my husband gets on the floor to crawl back to him, I just melt! Even watching him let Hudson get away with pretty much everything, including sneaking him ice cream before dinner, shows me just how much of my husband's happiness is inspired by our children's joy.

He lives for them, and that makes my love for him grow deeper and stronger. Right now, we're nourishing the growth of our relationship by bonding over our children, rather than over a candlelit dinner. I think the best relationships are those that grow and evolve. I know what you're thinking—my man has needs, right? Of course he does. But he's tired, too! Trust me on this one, I know the day will come when we're less tired to make time for a little amor.

So, I want to hear from you. How did you sex life change after having babies?

 

Do you love how Latina Mommy, Yesenia Almonte, deals with sex after Baby? Check out what happens when her oldest son won't stop dropping f-bombs.

 

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Photo via Yesenia Almonte