After Baby: I'm The Primary Breadwinner

Rebecca, the primary breadwinner in her family, talks about juggling a full-time job with three kids, including one with special needs.


My name is Rebecca. I have three small children who are three-and-a-half, eight-and-a-half, and 11. And the juggle of three kids and a full time job is a lot. [MUSIC] I went back to work after my first child was born, when she was three months old because I had to. I'm actually the primary breadwinner for my family. So I had to support. My daughter and pay for child care and help my husband whose a musician. But I was lucky enough that my first job though that they built a baby room where I worked, so I could bring her to work with me. I could see her but it was also really painful to see her during the day and to watch someone else. With her, and having her take her first steps with someone else was really tough. I had my second child at home with a midwife. He was a little boy. He was born with Down syndrome, which I didn't know he had, so that was another challenge. So I was grieving at the same time that I was excited to have a new baby. And then trying to be there for my toddler. [MUSIC] I had to find someone who I could trust. Not only with a little girl who is two and a half but also with a little boy who had special needs. So I found an amazing woman who helps me with both, and adored them both and was. So, we're fiercely loyal to our entire family. I think having someone take care of your children is really challenging. Because, if you're working full-time, you're not at home with the kids through all the little milestones that make up their la, lives. At the same time though, it's really lovely to know that it's not just you that raises a child, that there's a whole bunch of different people that contribute to their lives. And having a really loving child care provider. Is a real gift to them. [MUSIC] There are enormous challenges to going back to work and leaving your children at home, partly because your body's not the same as it used to be. You feel like a different person. You're kind of sweaty and. Probably fatter and so there's sort of insecurity around that stuff and then I think also your identity feels different so you sort of become a mother, you're not just a worker so the value of what you give to the world changes a little bit. I also find it's really great to be working full-time and have my daughters. See me as a positive role model to her that she can go out and work in the world and support herself and be independent is really great. [MUSIC]

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