We know your kids are demanding, but don't let them kill the romance—especially this Valentine's Day. These super busy moms and dads have found fun ways to feel like newlyweds.

By Jennifer Matlack
August 14, 2011
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Credit: Ivanko80/Shutterstock

No matter how hard you try to sustain the spark in your relationship, life seems to get in the way. There's the responsibility of running the household, your job, and of course your children, who gobble up almost every ounce of your energy on a daily basis. In my home, days can pass without my husband and me doing anything more intimate than brushing our teeth together. Side by side we stand, frothy spearmint goo dripping from our mouths. Sexy, right?

While everyone knows about date nights, they're a lot easier to talk about than to actually do. Still, there are lots of other ways to get closer to your spouse. Just ask these four couples, who have discovered how to revive the romance despite the many challenges of raising a family.

Credit: Courtesy of Raidt's

"I learned the power of touch."

Kate and Daniel Raidt

Married 6 years

Austin, Texas

Parents of Conley, 6, and Bodie, 3

Kate: Four or five times a week we make a point of snuggling on the couch after putting the kids to bed. We used to sit in separate chairs and read the paper. Then I read The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. It made me realize that Daniel feels love through touch, so we needed to sit closer to each other.

Daniel: It's true. Back rubs, massages, and cuddling make me feel appreciated. Kate, on the other hand, responds more to affectionate and positive words. In the past, this created some tension between us because I didn't get the physical contact I need, and I tried to show Kate my love through touch instead of compliments, which are what she needs.

Kate: We were speaking different languages. So one evening I sidled up to Daniel in his "man chair," and his face lit up right away. It created this intimate moment where it was just the two of us. Since then, I've noticed that he responds much better to talking about finances or work issues when I'm holding his hand or rubbing his back rather than sitting across the room.

Daniel: The fact that Kate took the time to understand me better makes us feel closer than ever. It's also inspired me to give her what she needs to feel cherished. Now I'll say, "Thanks for cooking dinner, honey," or "I'm proud of the hard work you've done this week." Kate doesn't need gifts, but she likes to be recognized for what she contributes to our marriage, family, and kids.

Credit: Courtesy of Perry's

"We connect through music."

Shayla and Alan Perry

Married 8 years

Corning, New York

Parents of Chris, 13; Nathan, 8; Kyle, 5; and Alyssa, 3

Shayla: After the kids are asleep, we grab some beers, light candles, and surf the music stations on TV. We'll dance and sing along to our favorites and reminisce about where we were and what we were doing when we first heard a song. It's a fun way to learn more about each other, and it also reminds us how much we share in common.

Alan: Sometimes they'll play a song that one of us doesn't like. Shayla can't stand the Retro Rock channel, but we'll keep it on as I try to explain why I like it. I love that she's willing to listen in order to understand me better.

Shayla: I find it amazing how much you can find out about a person from his taste in music.

Alan: One of my favorite songs is "Falls on Me," by Fuel. The chorus ("All you dream/Falls on me, it falls on me/And your beautiful sky/The light you bring/Falls on me, it falls on me") reminds me of my responsibilities as a husband and father. After we've finished our musical date, I feel closer to Shayla. The fact that we still enjoy being together gives me confidence in our marriage.

Credit: Courtesy of Begun's

"We put our affection on paper."

Caren and Daniel Begun

Married 8 years

Jersey City, New Jersey

Parents of Sarah, 2

Caren: It started seven years ago when we were testing a new printer. Daniel printed "I love you" and then hid the paper for me to find. Since then, we've concealed this same "love note" in the house, in our car, and all across the country whenever we travel.

Daniel: I like surprising Caren, and it lets her know I'm thinking of her. We both have a lot of fun with it, though it's an escalating challenge to find unique places to stash the note that neither of us has thought of before.

Caren: I crack up when the hiding spot catches me off guard. One time Daniel taped the note to the inside of our toilet-seat cover (it was protected in a plastic baggy, thank goodness!). This simple, hilarious game has become a constant reminder of our mutual affection, which is a nice thing, since our life with a preschooler is so busy.

Daniel: My philosophy is you can't have love without laughter. I've been known to break into spontaneous dancing and make silly faces to amuse Caren. But the note is my greatest invention. My favorite memory was the time I mailed it to our new home, addressed to her. That way, it was the first piece of mail she received. Caren knew exactly what it was before she opened it. She just looked at me and smiled. We didn't exchange a single word, but we both felt an instant, powerful connection.

Credit: Courtesy of Sokol's

"We go on alphabet-themed dates."

Heather and Spencer Sokol

Married 14 years

Westfield, Indiana

Parents of Stacia, 13; Brenia, 8; and Lorelai, 5

Heather: Each month we plan a date that's based on a different letter of the alphabet, an idea I got from the book Alphabet Weekends: Love on the Road From A to Z, by Elizabeth Noble. For the letter C, we spent an afternoon at the local children's museum by ourselves. This gave us the opportunity to explore the exhibits our kids aren't crazy about, and it made us feel young again. We even rode the carousel together. For D, we spent "a day in downtown," in Indianapolis. I know alphabet dating sounds a bit goofy, but it gives us an excuse and an incentive to be together.

Spencer: When Heather first brought up the idea, I was skeptical. But I knew we needed to try something because the only time we ever spent as a couple was related to housework or the kids. Still, I was worried we'd spend more time planning dates than being together.

Heather: We had been so out of sync that Spencer didn't even share his concerns with me. But we dove in, desperate to try anything. Along the way, we've discovered that this exercise does involve planning, but in a good way. In between the dates, we plot out the next one as a couple. Even the elaborate plans -- like G for "getaway," when we drove to Chicago to see a musical comedy -- have been satisfying to pull off as a team. It's gratifying to come up with new ideas together, or even to revisit old ones. Next up is the letter M.

Spencer: The best part is getting to escape with Heather for a little while. Even if it's just a hike down a trail or a quick bite at a local dive, being able to get away from our responsibilities as parents without feeling guilty has been critical. We're now communicating better and laughing a lot more, and dating again has made for a lot of special moments.

Credit: Rawpixel.com/Shutterstock

Five Secrets of Still-Happy Couples

1. Praising their partner: Sixty-one percent of happy couples say their spouse makes them feel good about themselves, versus only 27 percent of moderately happy and unhappy couples.

2. Focusing on good sex, not lots of it: Three out of four happy couples are satisfied with their lovemaking, even if its frequency has diminished over time.

3. Keeping the faith: Among study couples who are happiest together, 96 percent of the wives and 92 percent of the husbands say the most crucial marriage expectation is this: "You should feel that your spouse would never hurt or deceive you."

4. Continuing to learn about each other's needs: Virtually all the contented couples in the study expressed that they know and understand their partner intimately -- not just daily routines and personal preferences, but what truly makes each other feel special.

5. Sharing their secrets: Half of all the happy couples say they regularly reveal secrets or share their feelings with their partner.

Comments (27)

Anonymous
January 12, 2021
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January 7, 2021
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January 7, 2021
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January 7, 2021
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January 7, 2021
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December 23, 2020
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Anonymous
December 23, 2020
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Anonymous
December 2, 2020
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Anonymous
November 27, 2020
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November 2, 2020
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Anonymous
November 1, 2020
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Anonymous
October 27, 2020
I want to share this testimony. After being in marriage with my wife for years, she broke up with me. I did everything within my reach to bring her back but all was in vain, I wanted her back so badly because of the love I had for her, I begged her with everything, I made promises but she refused. I explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring her back , I had no choice than to try it. I message Dr OKOYE a spell caster and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be okay before three days. He cast the spell and surprisingly on the third day, my wife called me. I was so surprised, I answered the all cand all she said was that she was so sorry for everything that had happened He wanted me to return to her. She also said she loved me so much. I was so happy and went to her that was how we started living together happily again. The spell casters . You can Whatsapp him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other Case Whatsapp number +2348109476757 or email him at okoyespiritemple@gmail.com
Anonymous
October 8, 2020
My husband and I have been married for over 10 years. We met when I was 18 and he was 21. We’ve been through a lot emotionally together. There were several HUGE fights and painful situations in our marriage, but we always seemed to come out stronger on the other side. Out of the blue my husband just sprung the divorce talk on me, I was totally depressed until I found Dr.Todd website online and I ordered for a Love spell. You won’t believe my husband called me at the exact time this spell caster finished his spell work in 48hrs. I was totally amazed! He is wonderful and his spells work so fast. His Email: manifestspellcast@ gmail. com manifestspellcast.wordpress.com WhatsApp:+1 604 901 9747
Anonymous
October 8, 2020
My husband and I have been married for over 10 years. We met when I was 18 and he was 21. We’ve been through a lot emotionally together. There were several HUGE fights and painful situations in our marriage, but we always seemed to come out stronger on the other side. Out of the blue my husband just sprung the divorce talk on me, I was totally depressed until I found Dr.Todd website online and I ordered for a Love spell. You won’t believe my husband called me at the exact time this spell caster finished his spell work in 48hrs. I was totally amazed! He is wonderful and his spells work so fast. His Email: manifestspellcast@ gmail. com manifestspellcast.wordpress.com WhatsApp:+1 604 901 9747
Anonymous
September 30, 2020
Dr Charles is a powerful man that brought back my husband our love is stronger than ever and my family is happy …Dr Charles don't forget about you he always  keep in touch make sure all is well after a stressful time with a woman turning my husband away from me. Dr Charles thanks so much for the smile on my face and his wonderful work . If you need his help, contact him via his email address. drcharlesspell@gmail.com WhatsApp: +2348146708557
Anonymous
September 30, 2020
Dr Charles is a powerful man that brought back my husband our love is stronger than ever and my family is happy …Dr Charles don't forget about you he always  keep in touch make sure all is well after a stressful time with a woman turning my husband away from me. Dr Charles thanks so much for the smile on my face and his wonderful work . If you need his help, contact him via his email address. drcharlesspell@gmail.com WhatsApp: +2348146708557
Anonymous
September 30, 2020
Dr Charles is a powerful man that brought back my husband our love is stronger than ever and my family is happy …Dr Charles don't forget about you he always  keep in touch make sure all is well after a stressful time with a woman turning my husband away from me. Dr Charles thanks so much for the smile on my face and his wonderful work . If you need his help, contact him via his email address. drcharlesspell@gmail.com WhatsApp: +2348146708557
Anonymous
September 4, 2020
* Hi everyone, My name is Clara I am here to make a review about how Dr Charles helped me in fixing my marriage and also to those out there seeking for help and advice on how to save your broken marriage, few months ago I was having issues with my husband I noticed he has been having an affair with another young lady in his place of work I confronted him but he got angry and say to my face that it’s true, as if that was not enough he went ahead by telling me he doesn’t love me anymore that he wanted a divorce I was to devastated and confused, I pleaded with him that I don’t want a divorce but he insisted,before then I had heard about Dr Charles while browsing on the internet how he use to help people with broken marriages and relationships, I gave it a thought and I decided to contact him, he promise to put a smile on my face again, I followed his instructions and after 3days I was so surprised to see my husband kneeling before me and apologizing for what he had said about the divorce, this is something I never expected, I thank Dr Charle for what he has done for me, now am living happily with my husband and he has stopped seeing the other woman. Please if you are having issues like this I advice you to contact Dr Charles he can help you as well. His email: drcharlesspell@gmail.com WhatsApp: +2348146708557
Anonymous
September 4, 2020
* Hi everyone, My name is Clara I am here to make a review about how Dr Charles helped me in fixing my marriage and also to those out there seeking for help and advice on how to save your broken marriage, few months ago I was having issues with my husband I noticed he has been having an affair with another young lady in his place of work I confronted him but he got angry and say to my face that it’s true, as if that was not enough he went ahead by telling me he doesn’t love me anymore that he wanted a divorce I was to devastated and confused, I pleaded with him that I don’t want a divorce but he insisted,before then I had heard about Dr Charles while browsing on the internet how he use to help people with broken marriages and relationships, I gave it a thought and I decided to contact him, he promise to put a smile on my face again, I followed his instructions and after 3days I was so surprised to see my husband kneeling before me and apologizing for what he had said about the divorce, this is something I never expected, I thank Dr Charle for what he has done for me, now am living happily with my husband and he has stopped seeing the other woman. Please if you are having issues like this I advice you to contact Dr Charles he can help you as well. His email: drcharlesspell@gmail.com WhatsApp: +2348146708557
Anonymous
July 15, 2020
This is very Helpful. Hello to the world, I'm Jennifer Budgie from the UK After being in relationship with my husband for years, he broke up with me. I did everything within my reach to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so badly because of the love I had for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused.I explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I should rather contact a spellcaster OKORO that could help me cast a spell to bring him back in 12 or 24hrs,I had no choice than to try it,i email the spellcaster,Dr OKORO and he assured me there was no problem without solution and that everything will be okay before 2days. He cast the spell and surprisingly on the second day, my husband called me,I was so surprised,I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that had happened He wanted me to return to him,He also said he loved me so much,I was so happy and he comes back to me that was how we started living together happily again,I'm so much happy I found help in Dr OKORO,The spellcaster email is okorohomeofrefuge@gmail.com contact him for help, You can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other Case. Or WhatApp him on+2348132682070 1) Love Spell 2) Lost Love Spell 3) Divorce Spell 4) Marriage Spell 5) Binding Spell. 6) Breakup Spell & Sickness or Diseases of any kind,spell 7) Banish a past Lover 8.) You want to be promoted in your office/ Lottery spell 9) want to satisfy your lover & Money spell,...Contact this Great Man, if you are having any problem for a lasting solution through "okorohomeofrefuge@gmail.com"...This Great Man is doing a very wonderful job(helping people's restored & reunite Marriages/Relationships all over the world.
Anonymous
June 27, 2020
A miracle that happen in my life that God use priest Manuka restore happiness in my marriage. It all happen when I travel to see my mom few months ago when my husband met a Mexico lady who took his attention away from his family and made him seek for a divorce, in just few months I was away, I was driven from our home because of her my husband was lavishing our savings on her that pains was really too much for to bear seeing my man in the arms of another woman, I decided to take decision to save my family from the bondage of this wicked lady. Today am here to tell everyone here that my marriage has been finally restored by priest Manuka  who did all he could do to bring back peace to my life again. My advice to anyone who read this testimony never to give up in any situation just ask God for direction and have faith he will lead you just the way I was lead to priest Manuka who help me out of my problem. Once again thank you for you help I will also recommend him to anyone else who needs him for any situation. Here is his contact.....  Lovesolutiontemple1@gmail.com
Anonymous
June 19, 2020
WOW!! This is the most wonderful thing i have ever experience and i need to share this great testimony... I just want to say thanks to Dr. Stanley for taking time to help me cast the spell that brings back my ex lover{now husband}, who suddenly lost interest in me after six month of engagement, but today we are married and we are more happier than never before, I am really short of words and i don't know how much to convey my appreciation to you, you are a God sent to restore broken relationship.He deeply enjoy helping people achieve their desires, call OR whats-app +2348051145100 for your help.
Anonymous
September 11, 2019
Hi everybody. I recently saw a testimony about Chief Dr Zuma in a blog I visit for relationship and dating counseling problems because i had been having serious issues with my boyfriend and we had been dating for six months, he just suddenly changed, he wasn't returning my calls,he started cheating,he was hurting me in many ways i never thought possible and I just thought I should try it*maybe out of desperation of some sort*..and I contacted Chief Dr Zuma ..At first everything felt dreamy and unbelievable, his consultations and solution was a little bit easy and strange and I was scared a little cause I heard read and heard lots of stories of fake spell casters,scams and i never really believed in magic..I played along with a little hope and and faith and I sent some few stuffs after everything and it worked like a miracle,everything went to a while new direction,it was and is amazing...I guess it was all good faith that made me read That particular post that faithful day..I hope he could help other people too like he did me...I did a little and I got everything I wanted and wished for*my husband,my family and my life back. E-mail: spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com or contact him on whats App him +2348105150446
Anonymous
August 7, 2019
I pray that your emotional burdens will be lifted from your heart and that you will be filled with a sense of great peace, it is never too late to start a new chapter in your life oh, it does however take great courage to make the first step. Thank you Dr Olorun for your help to humanity, I told you though am not rich to pay you but I won't stop telling the world about the great work you are doing with the gift you have. Saving me from the abusive relationship I was and giving me a new life with your great spell work I will keep telling the world until everyone knows about your great powers. If you are reading this and you think it [filtered] well that because you don't have any problem but if you are that person who is dying of problem or depression cos you have tried everything and didn't get results don't give up cos you haven't tried Dr Olorun. Contàct him today via Blog;drolorunspelltemple.bogspot.com on Email;Dr.olorun@gmail.com, Tel/whatsapp : +2349057688760 with whatever health,marriage/relationship problems you have and trust me you will be as happy as myself when our request is granted,Good luck.
Anonymous
February 21, 2019
Dr mack help me get my lover back, I was having little soupy about him before, cause I haven’t really done something like this before, ( asking someone to cast a spell ) but to my greatest surprise , I was in contact with him on email, for just 1 day, and the result after the spell a day later, now am glad to announce to everyone my lover is back in peace with great love on her face, have accepted her back to my life, and it’s being a week after that now, and we are happy today with the kids, if you want to get in search on him on the internet ((Dr.marnish@ yahoo. com :)))