I haven't been in the mood for sex since my baby was born.

By Marion Bilich, PhD


I gave birth almost six months ago and I'm still not interested in having sex. My husband was very patient at first, but now he's starting to get antsy. Is it normal to lose interest in sex after having a baby? Is there any way I can rekindle my interest in sex? How much longer should I go before consulting someone?


Although a small number of women have a greater interest in sex after childbirth, a greater number lose interest in sex after the birth of a child. Even two years later, some women report low libido. Hormone imbalances, changes in the marital relationship, and the physical and emotional demands of mothering a baby are among the causes of this lack of interest. So, first step: Stop judging yourself and stop worrying. Step two: Make sure that your husband understands what is happening and that you haven't lost interest in him.

Over time your hormones should fall back into their normal balance on their own. If the lack of interest is due to other factors, such as tiredness, here are some suggestions for rekindling your desire:

1. Get more rest and sleep (easier said than done). Perhaps you can arrange for someone to watch the baby while you get some sleep or a relaxing massage.

2. Plan some romantic time with your partner. Again, you might have someone watch the baby while the two of you go out.

3. Focus on the sensual or affectionate part of your relationship with no expectations that it lead to a sexual encounter. Often couples deny themselves the pleasure of physical contact because one partner fears that this will inevitably lead to sex. Explain to your husband that while you are not ready for sex, you want to touch him and be touched. Ask your husband to massage your back or your feet. Do the same for him.

The information on this Web site is designed for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for informed medical advice or care. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting your pediatrician or family doctor. Please consult a doctor with any questions or concerns you might have regarding your or your child's condition.

American Baby


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