New moms often tell me that since their baby was born, they've lost interest in sex. No matter how their partner tries to get them in the mood, they just can't seem to get their body to respond. They come to me wondering what's going on, and what they can do about it.
This is a very common problem, particularly after the first baby. Your body has been through many changes, and these changes will affect your sexual drive after you deliver. The effects of stress and worry that a new mother experiences should not be overlooked. You're probably getting less sleep, possibly feeling a touch of postpartum blues caused by hormonal fluctuations, and grappling with a very different body image than before your pregnancy. You need to be patient with yourself and know that this is a temporary problem.
Breastfeeding can play a significant role in diminished sexual interest as well. Estrogen is an important hormone that decreases with breastfeeding and this can affect your vaginal tissues. The most common vaginal side effects of decreased estrogen are dryness and a "pins and needles" feeling during intercourse. Understandably, this has a negative effect on your mood. When you resume relations, it's important to use lubricants to help protect the tissues and minimize the discomfort of vaginal dryness.
Your partner should understand that patience and reassurance, and not saying, "This is just in your mind," is the key to helping you regain your interest in sex. Don't rush yourself. Instead, indulge in other forms of closeness and physical pleasure such as massages or long, hot showers.
If several months go by without any improvement at all, talk with your gynecologist. She can examine you to rule out any other potential causes for your decreased libido.