July 02, 2015

Q: Dear Rosie, I've always dreamed of having two children. However, soon after we had our daughter, my husband said he was content with having only one. I was hoping that with a little time he would change his mind. Our beautiful daughter is now 4 and he hasn't budged. Any thoughts on how to resolve this? —One and Not Done

A: Dear Not Done,  Try to put your feelings aside for a moment and seriously consider why your husband says he's done with one. Is he worried about your finances? If the reason is money-related, be pragmatic about what it would take to add another baby to the family. You might be able to assuage his apprehension if you can show him how you'd realistically be able to afford another child.  But perhaps your husband's concern stems from someplace else, like fear about not loving the next child as much. I've met dads—and moms—who genuinely do worry about that. The moment a second child is born, of course, parents love that baby as much as the first. It is important to reassure your husband of this and to make him understand that the amount of love he feels for one will simply double in an instant with two.

Answered by Rosie Pope