Pick up the baby. Put down the baby. Bounce the baby. Chase the baby. Push the baby in the swing. Wear the baby on your back while running errands. There's no doubt motherhood makes you physically stronger... but let's be honest, that's just the beginning. Here, the top 10 ways being a mom makes you a certified #badass.
1. Before you had kids, there was roughly a zero percent chance you could ruin someone's day by cutting their sandwich the wrong way. Look at you now! #MomSuperPowers
2. You used to need privacy in order to relieve your bladder or your bowels. Now, HAHAHAHAHA WHAT'S PRIVACY?
3. Remember when you'd snore through your alarm day after day no matter how high you cranked the volume? Today your fast-asleep ears can pick up even the tiniest of coughs or faintest of sniffles... from four houses over.
4. You can get in and out of Target—with two hungry kids in the cart and another one strapped to your chest—in under an hour. And still get all the things.
5. Five, six, maybe seven hundred times a day you keep another human being from cutting, bruising, disfiguring, maiming, impaling, killing, or otherwise injuring himself. Pre-kids? Maybe once, ever.
6. You have entire conversations with tiny people standing beside your bed at 5:00 AM without having had even a single sip of coffee. (This was physically, humanly impossible before getting your mom card.)
7. There was a time when being a puking, burning-up, miserable mess would send you to bed for a week. With kids to tend to, you power through #LikeAGirl.
8. Speaking of puke...yeah, you can (and frequently do) clean it up now without gagging. Your college self wouldn't believe it.
9. YOU KILLED THE SPIDER YOURSELF. Seriously, there should be a trophy.
10. You can place a wrist to a forehead and confidently declare another person sick or well. And you never even went to medical school.
11. You made an entire person inside your body. Did you really need a list?