Hilaria Baldwin said she wanted to share the news with her followers even though "it isn't as positive and shiny as the rest."

By Helen Murphy
April 04, 2019
lev radin/Shutterstock

Hilaria Baldwin believes that she is experiencing a miscarriage.

The mother of four and wife of Alec Baldwin, 35, opened up in an emotional Instagram post on Thursday.

“I want to share with you that I am most likely experiencing a miscarriage,” she wrote. “I always promised myself that if I were to get pregnant again, I would share the news with you guys pretty early, even if that means suffering a public loss. I have always been so open with you all about my family, fitness, pregnancies…and I don’t want to keep this from you, just because it isn’t as positive and shiny as the rest.”

“I think it’s important to show the truth,” Baldwin continued, “because my job is to help people by being real and open. Furthermore, I have no shame or embarrassment with this experience. I want to be a part of the effort to normalize miscarriage and remove the stigma from it.”

“There is so much secrecy during the first trimester. This works for some, but I personally find it to be exhausting. I’m nauseous, tired, my body is changing. And I have to pretend that everything is just fine — and it truly isn’t. I don’t want to have to pretend anymore. I hope you understand,” she added.

Baldwin then explained what was happening with her pregnancy.

“So, this is what is going on now,” she wrote. “The embryo has a heartbeat, but it isn’t strong, and the baby isn’t growing very much. So we wait — and this is hard. So much uncertainty … but the chances are very, very small that this is a viable pregnancy. I have complete confidence that my family and I will get through this, even if the journey is difficult.”

“I am so blessed with my amazing doctor, my dear friends, and my loving family,” Baldwin continued. “My husband and my four very healthy babies help me keep it together and have the perspective of how truly beautiful life is, even when it occasionally seems ugly. The luck and gratitude I feel that I am my babies’ mommy, is wonderfully overwhelming and comforting.”

She concluded the post by asking for kindness from her followers. “In your comments, please be kind,” she wrote. “I’m feeling a bit fragile and I need support. I’m hoping, that by sharing this, I can contribute to raising awareness about this sensitive topic.”

On her Instagram Story, Baldwin posted another message, this one addressed to the media. “Do not send paparazzi to my home,” she wrote. “I will continue to post photos on my Instagram that you can use for free. I would like some physical space from being chased with cameras right now. Thank you in advance for your understanding and your courtesy.”

The couple shares four children: daughter Carmen Gabriela, 5½, plus sons Romeo Alejandro David, 10 months, Leonardo Ángel Charles, 2½, and Rafael Thomas, 3½. Alec is also dad to 23-year-old daughter Ireland from his previous marriage to Kim Basinger.

Last month, Alec told PEOPLE that his wife was “up for the challenge” of having another baby, though the news of her pregnancy was not public at that time.

“Oh yeah, she’s up for the challenge,” the actor, 61, said while discussing the prospects of having a fifth child in hopes of giving a little sister to Carmen. “I’m the one who’s not up for the challenge.”

This article originally appeared on People.com.

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