Momming is hard and sometimes we just want a d*mn break.

By Kristi Pahr
December 18, 2019
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Illustration by Sarina Finkelstein; Getty Images (1)

Some days are harder than others. Some days, parenting, specifically momming, is a soul-sucking, thankless, exhausting job that never seems to end. Preparing snacks, refilling drinks, wiping noses and wiping butts, cleaning up messes, soothing hurts and hurt feelings, taking care of literally everything so your little person makes it through the day and comes out the other side a well-adjusted and functional person—it's a big job.

And some days, well somedays it can be so overwhelming that you just don't want to do it anymore. Some days moms just don't want to mom. Non-moms might not understand what that means, but when the very existence of a whole entire person depends on you, it can be a lot of pressure. And somedays maybe you just don't feel up to the task.

It's not that you don't want to be a mom anymore. It's just that maybe you want to be able to read a book or sleep through the night or paint your toenails without anyone needing you for anything.

A recent Reddit thread explained it well. "When I say 'I don’t want to mom today' all that means is that today is hard. That’s it." wrote Redditor Overflowingsewing. "I’m NOT saying: I hate my child, I regret my current pregnancy, I want an abortion, I want to kill myself, I support extreme child-free notions that nobody should ever have kids, I’m going to run away and abandon my spouse and children, I regret being a SAHM. I’m not saying any of those things, I’m just saying 'today is hard'." We feel you, mama, we really do.

And so did the commenters. Replies were filled with support and most importantly, with understanding. "I totally get it. I feel like some days are just harder than others. Saying that out loud doesn’t mean anything more than today was f**king hard," read one reply. "there are plenty of rough days that don’t have that adorable redeeming moment. Some of them are just plain hard from morning till night. But I love her and I love being her mom."

Not every day will have that Instagram-worthy moment of parenting perfection. But every day will have the pressure to meet the needs of your family and its ok to feel like you need a break. "'I don't want to mom today' could also be translated as 'I wish I could dad today and my husband could mom' most of the time for me. Which means that not only could I basically do the bare minimum, take actual breaks, only be concerned with my own needs for the most part, etc but that someone else would pick up all the slack I normally do," commented a Redditor named Eyri. "A day off isn't really a day off anymore, it's all just deferred work."

Truth! Momming doesn't stop just because you want a break. Laundry builds up, kids get fussy, messes get made, and if they aren't tended to, it just builds and builds. It's totally normal to want to not mom for a day. It's totally normal to get overwhelmed. It's totally normal to want to hide in your room with the door locked while you sneak a piece of chocolate or do your nails. Moms need breaks. That doesn't mean they don't love being a mom, but sometimes even moms should get the chance to not mom for a while.

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