Watch This Psychologist Break Down How To Build Your Child's Sense of Internal Safety

In a TikTok video, Dr. Martha Collado highlights how a dad builds his child's confidence and security when helping her learn a new trick on her skateboard.

Male skateboard instructor helping young female student learn to balance on board during summer camp
Photo: Getty

Tiktok is known for silly dances and Gen Z pranks but every once in a while I come across something that warms my mama heart. In a video that is dueted from a special moment captured by family creators @chasing.sage, Dr. Martha Collado breaks down the importance of teaching our children internal safety.

"This is a beautiful illustration on how to build safety in your child's body," Dr. Martha starts with. She then goes on to explain the various ways that the father and daughter duo demonstrate building trust and confidence within each other and themselves while the daughter is learning to skateboard.

Honestly, this child is building self confidence that some of us don't see well into our adulthood!

The video is only about a minute and a half long but the entire 90 seconds is important. And Dr. Martha not only breaks the video down but she does an amazing job of explaining why each moment is so important when teaching our kids how to trust themselves.

  • Provide reassurance without stepping in. What we don't see from the TikTok is that this is a skill the daughter had been working on. In a previous video she takes a pretty hard fall and so there was nervousness and reservation about her working on the skill again. Dad makes it a point to encourage her to try again without interfering with her working on the skill herself.
  • Transform fear into fun. When it looks like another fall is about to happen dad quickly scoops the child up and swings her around. You can instantly see the fear leave her body. "She feels safe again," as Dr. Martha points out. And she gains the confidence to continue practicing.
  • Follow your child's lead. Throughout the entire video dad does an amazing job of honoring his child's requests. Everything from waiting until she requests help to letting her celebrate herself first. Building trust is all about following her lead.
  • Let them praise themselves. You can gradually see the child's confidence build as the video continues and she definitely displays different levels of said confidence. From asking dad to help, to then saying she's got it and doesn't want to be touched at all. And when she completes the skill, she's the first person to celebrate.
  • Don't push, support. The most important takeaway from the video is Dad takes a backseat the entire time. It's not about her learning the skill, it's about her learning to trust herself enough to keep trying. Or not.

Parenting is hard, and we can often feel like we aren't getting it right. I'm grateful for creators like @dr.Martha.psychologists who remind us that connecting with our children is far more important than being a perfect parent.

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