7 Best Pieces of Advice From a Decade of Reddit's Baby Bumps Forum
Reddit's Baby Bumps forum is turning 10. Here are some of the highlights from over the years, from sore boobs to online marriage proposals.
Whether you're expecting your first or third child, finding a support network can make a world of difference in your experience. For many people over the years, the Baby Bumps subreddit, described as "a place for pregnant Redditors, those who have been pregnant, those who wish to be in the future, and anyone who supports them," has served as that helpful community. And on November 27, the group celebrates its 10th anniversary.
To mark the occasion, here are several of the most important lessons Baby Bumper have learned over the years.
1. Avoid Being a Sanctimommy
In December 2010, when Baby Bumps was a brand new spot for expectant parents to connect, Redditor r/linalennon wrote, "As a soon-to-be-mother, I am trying to reserve my judgment of the many ways to be a mom," and shared an article from Mom-101.com that she said helped her. The gist: Don't be a "sanctimommy."
After all, as the blogger writes, "While the Sanctimommy is quick to deem others unfit mothers based on (really, in the end) superficial decisions like the cleanliness of a child’s nose or the YoBaby in the grocery cart, she’s reluctant to look as closely at herself. ... I’d rather raise my kids in a happy, loving household with Dora on the TV and Cheerios on the dinner table than to have them grow up in the presence of an uptight, judgmental mom."
2. Sore Boobs and Unwashed Hair Can Be Hot
Redditor r/eatacupcake posted this funny pregnant selfie in 2012, joking about "the morning glow of pregnancy," which includes ice cream stains, sore boobs, and dried drool from a coma-like sleep. The community applauded the reality check. One commenter wrote, "I love your sense of humor!!! I think all of my shirts now have some type of stain on them (except my really good shirts, and then, I just don't eat or drink when wearing them LOL)."
3. Sometimes You Just Need to Share With People Who Aren't IRL
In a heartwarming 2013 post, Redditor r/kayala81 posted a photo of a positive pregnancy test, writing, "After four years of trying and three miscarriages, I hope this little bean sticks. It's too early to share with anyone in real life other than my hubby."
The poster was met with warm wishes and support when she later shared that she suffered another pregnancy loss. "I'm broken hearted, but still hopeful," wrote kayala81. "Internet strangers have been my saving grace."
4. Expectant Parents Don't Need to Hear About All That Lost Sleep, Thanks
A mom-to-be, writing under the handle r/looseyloo in 2014, shared her husband's rant about how they don't need any advice about how they'll lose sleep when the baby comes. After all, it's a small sacrifice to make for the child that they had spent the last three years trying for.
5. Romance Can Happen When—and Where—You Least Expect It
A proud dad-to-be named John hopped on Baby Bumps to lament that his girlfriend Patty had been spending a "crazy" amount of time on the forum in 2015. "But I understand," he wrote. "I understand because the information, comfort, and in a lot of ways support she gains keeps a smile on her beautiful face."
He then addressed Patty directly, writing, "You look beautiful today. You look beautiful every single day, and you have since always. Your smile is still sunshine and your laughter is still music. I love you more than anything, and I want to be your husband. But we did everything in the wrong order, at least not in the order most do these things. I don't want to marry you because you're pregnant with my son, either. I wanted to marry you a few days after I met you, and still do. I'm thrilled to spend my life raising him with such an amazing woman. I'm thrilled his mom is such a genius, so gorgeous, so fun to be around, and the epitome of kindness and patience in a person. You're my best friend, Patty. Will you be my wife? I love you more than life."
The top comment? From Patty, obviously. "Of course I said YES!!" she wrote. "I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful man to share the rest of my life and to raise a son with. John, you are the best friend, partner-in-crime and future husband a girl could ask for. Thank you for this sweet, perfectly non-traditional (just like us!) proposal. You truly know me better than anyone. I can't wait to see the amazing dad you'll be. Our son is such a lucky kid. Oh, and thank you for this beautiful raw diamond ring (figured ultrasound pictures background would be appropriate). I love you more than words can express."
6. It's Normal to Be Totally Freaked Out
A dad to be, writing under r/those_shrieking_eels, confessed that he wasn't excited at all about fatherhood after learning that his partner was pregnant. "There are so many things I want to do, so many places I want to visit, so many skills I want to learn, classes I want to take, books I want to read, movies I want to watch," he wrote. "And I want to share all these things with my wife, but I think that realistically, probably most of those things are never going to happen if I take the time to really be a good father and husband." He also wrote about caring for his mom who had ALS.
The community rallied around the dad, normalizing his fears. The top commenter wrote, "So GOOD on you for coming here. Good on you for being honest with your wife. Good for speaking up in therapy about how HARD this shock of impending fatherhood is when you're dealing with a parent suffering from ALS."
A year later, the original poster shared a sweet photo of his baby girl.
7. Don't Lose Hope
This year, a Redditor named r/ DeadpoolIsMyPatronus shared that after 11 miscarriages, they finally welcomed their rainbow baby. "Unmedicated three-hour labor with two pushes, and she was here," wrote the original poster. The post, like so many before it, proved inspiring and heartwarming for the whole community.