Reddit Thread Shows The Hilarious Lengths Men Will Go to Mansplain Pregnancy to Women
Moms on the social media platform shared the craziest things male strangers have told them about pregnancy— ranging from the hilarious, to the infuriating and almost adorable.
May 20, 2019
Moms are so done with being “educated” about their pregnancies by men who just don’t know anything about it—and really have no reason to comment on their lives at all.
Fed-up user MaxineGr33n started a thread in Reddit’s Baby Bumps forum, asking, “Whaaaaat is with acquaintance men telling me how pregnancy is or what is happening and they’re always wrong or so condescendingly obvious it’s painful!! Is this just me?!”
And moms sounded off in the comments with their worst pregnancy mansplaining stories. We’ll warn you in advance: Some made us giggle, but some made us want to scream into the void, “No uterus, no opinion!”
Reddit user HamCat36 shared her dad’s reaction to her pregnancy announcement. He “confidently announced I shouldn't be worried because giving birth doesn't hurt at all and should only take about 15 minutes.”
Just FYI Pops, the average labor ranges from four to eight hours and it’s often longer for first-time moms.
Mom Plooza wrote that her father-in-law told her that “cravings are just made up by Hollywood to make their movies more interesting.” Tell that to all the moms-to-be out there desperately needing some snacks.
Some dudes had safety worries.
“My friend told me I shouldn't play catch (passing a baseball back and forth) anymore with my husband because it was too dangerous. He actually said, 'What if the ball hits the baby?'” wrote user Garfunk_elle. “I was in my first trimester. The baby was the size of a bean, and I'm pretty sure if the ball hit my tummy at that point the worst that would have happened is an errant fart from all the first trimester bloating.”
Mom kunoichi77 wrote, “I had a man tell me I shouldn’t fly anymore since the uterus is like a bag of crisps and in the sky it might pop.”
Just to be clear, uteruses are not like snack food. Many doctors advise against flying in the first trimester, but once you’re past the first trimester, you can fly. Though once you’re within two months of your due date, many doctors recommend staying close to home.
“A while back I was complaining to my husband that I had such a sore back and I really wanted to take a bath. He was like 'why can't you??' And I was like 'um....pregnant?'” wrote user AddictiveInterwebs. “It took about 15 seconds for him to make the connection and then in all seriousness he went, 'Right, right, can't boil the child.'"
For any worried partners out there, no one will be boiled if you keep the temperature at warm instead of hot.
Reddit user Biscuitsnpudding reported that her dad called her a “wimp” for not wanting to cook dinner in the first weeks after giving birth and told her, “Women give birth in rice patty fields then go straight back to work in other countries.” So the mom wrote that she replied, “How about you run a marathon, then I kick you in the nuts for three hours, then you can make me dinner all week?”
Redditter alisontastick commented that she had a supervisor ask when her “scheduled delivery date” would be, insisting that women can schedule their labor ahead of time. And she wasn’t the only mom who had to take on this debate. Several other moms wrote about a male boss being irritated that a due date might overlap with his planned vacation.
Um, hello labor laws. If you’ve worked full-time for a company for a year, you get at least 12 weeks of unpaid leave around your due date (although different states have different laws for additional time off). And it’s not quite a vacation.
Speaking of no-nos at work, a coworker Reddit user applestitch had only met once told her apropos of nothing, “did you know that pregnant women’s brains shrink?”
Reddit mom JuniperBeans also had an insanely invasive workplace story.
“With my second baby, I came into work to find 4 Post-it notes from a male coworker on my desk next to a can of tuna fished from my trash can,” she wrote. “The Post-its were a long rambling warning about how tuna contained mercury and I shouldn't be eating it at all, and he wanted to make sure I was aware of the danger. It also let me know he had emailed my spouse (who worked in a different division) a list of things I shouldn't eat so that he could keep an eye on it.”
Reddit user brythefamousretard once drank a can of Coca-Cola at work (a one-time caffeine indulgence for a craving) and said, “my coworker came over and poured it down the sink because it will 'turn my baby info an addict.'”
There are a lot of myths out there about what pregnant women can and can’t eat. And many commonly held beliefs are changing as new research provides updated information. For example, many types of fish and even shrimp are now deemed safe. But bottom line, if it’s not your body or your baby, it’s probably not your business what a mom is eating.
Kind of adorable
Not all the stories shared made moms furious—although they still read as a little clueless.
Reddit user MaybeBaby2019 wrote that her supervisor checks in on her weekly to ask how her pregnancy is going and if she’s taking her prenatal vitamins. “He always looks so proud of himself for knowing something about the process. He's unmarried and has no children,” she wrote. “I have to not roll my eyes each time, but he's not rude about it and I know he's asking from a good place.”
But Summertimeq’s comment was the cutest. “My husband would cover my belly at night if the blanket was off 'so the baby doesn't get cold,'” she wrote. “I tried explaining that it doesn't work that way, but he still insists.”
Okay, Dad, we'll give you that one. It's just precious.