Here's a good rule of thumb: Don't comment on someone else's body—ever.

By Melissa Mills
January 25, 2021
Advertisement
Credit: Getty Images.

People have no shame when it comes to making totally unwarranted observations about others. That much is obvious from a new Reddit Baby Bumps thread that shines a light on the types of insensitive body comments people get throughout their pregnancy.

"Today at work I was told that 'I have the weirdest pregnant lady body,'" a 25 weeks pregnant mom-to-be posted on Reddit. "And that I'm 'getting wide.' I've got a thick skin, but I can't say my feelings we'rent [sic] a little hurt."

I can relate: When I was at the end of my second trimester with my first child, a coworker asked if I was expecting twins because I looked so big. I was mortified then and the thought of it still makes me cringe—so much so that I still think about it now, while pregnant with my second son, and have felt relieved that the pandemic's limited the number of people I've been around.

Unfortunately this sort of thing happens on the regular—and not just for parents-to-be, but to women in general. Need proof? Once the pregnant Redditor continued,"Commiserate with me mommas, who hurt your feelings and what did they say," the floodgates opened. These are some of the worst examples of—let's just call it what it is—body-shaming that Reddit users have experienced:

  1. "One of my coworkers told me they knew I was having a girl because she had stolen my beauty. I was like...well at least she thought I had beauty previously!" — u/babybrain469754
  2. "As I vomited shortly after labor, with a room full of about 20 people when I wasn’t ready for visitors, and no one checked on me or helped me with such vomiting, a family member lectured me on how I needed to lose the baby weight and more as soon as possible and another commented that I took 'too long' laboring and my poor husband needed to eat (while pulling him outside the room to eat a sandwich)." — u/sentimentalmama
  3. "Last time I got a lot of 'You're ready to pop!' when I was only seven months along. One girl even said, 'but you're so big!'" — u/deedeemckee
  4. "My husband said his favorite part of a woman is a flat stomach. I cried for two hours. I was 24 weeks at the time, and I had just asked him if he prefers boobs or butts, since I felt like my booty and boobs were looking pretty good from the weight gain and was trying to be flirty." — u/Deej_Mc
  5. "You're pretty big, aren't you?" — u/butters510
  6. "An acquaintance approached me and asked if I was pregnant when I was around 20 weeks. And when I confirmed I was they had to add, oh yeah I could tell because your clothes fit you different." —u/Lowkeylawyer
  7. "Nine months pregnant buying baby clothes. Cashier, 'Awh who do you know that is having a baby?' Me, 'I am both fat and pregnant.'" — u/havingababypenguin
  8. "I live in a small town. Everybody knows everybody. the chick who checks me in for doctors appointments and takes my temperature messaged my boyfriend saying i'm 'huge' and could 'take a few slaps' followed by laughing emojis. Still can't fathom why she would say something like that." — u/catsoverppl
  9. "I had a male director at work joke on Friday that I 'looked like sh*t.' This was immediately following a 3 hour ultrasound where I raced back home to rejoin my zoom sessions. He actually choked on his drink when responded that I wasn't surprised since I'm 24 weeks with twins and feeling a little off these days :) I bet he's real nice from now on." — u/plan-on-it
  10. "Back when I was pregnant a guy at the gas station said 'any day now?!?' And I was only 7 months pregnant with my first..." — u/icepacket

Rude much?! Why do people feel the need to say things like this? What good could possibly come from it—and what's the pregnant person even supposed to do with that garbage? And let's just be clear: While there may be some health considerations associated with pregnancies at different sizes, weight does not automatically signify whether or not someone's healthy.

As one Redditor commented, "It's never OK to comment on a coworkers body, ever." And that's why they recommended the following response for the mom-to-be to use: "Well you have a weird body too, but you're not pregnant. So what's your excuse?"

Looking for more comebacks to shut people up? Here are a few good go-tos:

  • "My doctor isn't concerned about my body and you shouldn't be either."
  • "I'm huge? It's like I'm growing a HUMAN or something!"
  • "I actually love how I look, thanks!"

Of course you can always go with the one response that drives home how much work your pregnant body is doing—and how normal all of the changes that come along with that are: "I'm proud of my body and everything it's doing right now."

Comments

Be the first to comment!