Sorry, HomeGoods. All these two ladies want for Christmas is the one thing your store doesn't have.
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An image of a HomeGoods shopping cart.
Credit: Getty Image.

The holidays are here. That means we're gathering 'round the table with loved ones and, for some, handling awkward questions like, "When are you going to have kids?"

Many times, the questions are from eager parents and in-laws who are simply excited about the prospect of becoming grandparents for the first time—or again. But they're always inappropriate. You never know if someone is having trouble conceiving, recently had a miscarriage, is pregnant but not ready to share, or simply doesn't want kids. Everyone deserves to eat their figgy pudding in peace.

People (understandably) don't always find the comments funny. But every once in a while, laughter is the best medicine, as Saturday Night Live proved this weekend with a pre-taped sketch without an audience due to COVID-19 precautions.

In the sketch, Paul Rudd, who hosted for his fifth time, played a director for a HomeGoods commercial. Aidy Bryant and Kate McKinnon played eager prospective grandparents Evelyn and Eileen. Their kids are either dating or married.

It starts innocently enough. Rudd, playing Casey HomeGoods, tells the duo.

"It can be hard to know what to get moms for the holidays," says Rudd. "That's why we wanted to ask real moms what they want."

The two brush it off. "Oh, nothing, I'm not fussy," McKinnon says. "Don't spend too much," Bryant adds.

But Rudd presses, and finally, the truth comes out: These ladies want grandchildren.

That's not really the answer Rudd was looking for—he's trying to promote HomeGoods, not baby-pushing, but the ladies are adamant they want to be grandmas. Actually, Bryant's character would like five grandchildren. Rudd asks them to branch out, and Bryant obliges—sort of.

"A fuzzy blanket to swaddle grandchildren," she says.

Close, but no cigar. McKinnon mentions a cake stand, which Rudd loves, but then mentions she'd like one with "grandchildren on top."

"Can you just say sweater?" Rudd pleads.

"Baby sweater," Bryant says.

It goes on for the next three minutes, getting even more awkward when Rudd tries to change the subject to "gifts for other people."

"I want Kelsey to be full of my son," says McKinnon, apparently about her daughter-in-law.

Yikes. Just yikes. Rudd never quite gets the HomeGoods-centric answers he's looking for, but the video ends on a high note. Bryant gets a phone call from her daughter Kelsey. She's pregnant. Evelyn and Eileen are getting all they want for Christmas.

The sketch ends with the narrator saying, "HomeGoods, atta girl, Kelsey."

The people running HomeGoods' Instagram account were pretty into the sketch, commenting, "We checked in the back, still no grandchildren. But it is stocked full of gifts for everyone on your list!"

Other viewers loved it, too, and could completely relate.

"Hilarious and totally on point," said one person.

"Where did you guys get this footage of my mother?" joked another.

If you're dreading these conversations, having a few zingers in your back pocket can help diffuse the situation with a touch of humor, such as:

  • "When daycare is free."
  • "You'll be the first to know when we're ready. While we're on the subject of sex lives, why don't you tell the group about how yours is going?"
  • "What? Our pandemic puppy isn't cute enough?"
  • "What's the best answer I could give that would get you to stop asking this question at every holiday gathering?"
  • "Not yet. But we are taking applications for free babysitting. Would you like to apply?"
  • "Sorry, I'm still raising your child." (If it's your partner's parents.)

Ultimately, you don't owe anyone an explanation for your family plans. Simply telling them to stop asking is totally acceptable.