From falling asleep just about anywhere to streaking around the house, toddlers are a handful. Reimagine them as your pint-size roomie, and their wackiest behavior gets a lot more amusing.

By Maressa Brown
January 16, 2020
Illustration by Sarina Finkelstein; Getty Images (1)

Toddlers' behavior can be as overwhelming and stressful as it is adorable and hilarious. One thing that helps for dealing with it: a sense of humor, obviously. And that's exactly what parents in the Parenting subreddit have been doing—by reimagining their toddlers as tiny roommates.

In the funny, viral thread, the original poster (OP) posed the following question to the community: "Your toddler is your roommate. What crazy stuff does your roommate do that you have to put up with?" They then followed it up with, "My roommate falls asleep everywhere in the house: on the couch, the floor, the dinner table. Instead of kindly refusing food that he doesn’t like, my roommate throws it on the floor!"

Check out some of the most ridiculous, amusing "roommate behaviors":

1. Streaking

"My roommate likes to take off all of her clothes, run around screaming, 'I'm nudey booty!' And then pretend to poop on everyone while making farting noises with her mouth."

2. Running a "who has the biggest bum" contest

"My roommate keeps a running tally on which visitors to the house have the biggest bums. Grammy? No, now it's her aunt. Then it was the neighbor. She of course informs anyone if they are the new winner."

3. Hand-licking followed by face-rubbing

"My roommate licks her hands, rubs them together and then rubs my face."

4. Stealing your phones to take selfies

"My roommate is ALWAYS trying to steal my phone to take selfies. And leaves greasy fingerprints on it, too. Also my roommate thinks I don't feed my dog enough and takes seconds just to sneak it under the table."

5. Bizarre bathroom antics

"My roommate decorates the bathroom with toilet paper for her upcoming birthday party (its not until November) and gets upset when told she needs to put her underwear back on. She also gets upset when told to not lick the toilet."

6. Requiring "assistance" in the bathroom

"My roommate makes me follow them to the bathroom, because they are scared of being five feet away from me, and then after they poop, they know I will only help them wipe if they say 'I need assistance!' in Christian Bale's Batman voice."

7. Stealing clothes and makeup

"My roommates think it's cool to sneak into my clothes and shoes and wear them around the house. Then when confronted about wearing my things they say, 'No. I found it!' Also they live for stealing my makeup and brushes and creating unwanted murals on the walls. (This luckily only has happened twice.)"

8. Inexplicable mess-making and sexy time-blocking

"My roommate throws the things on my nightstand to the floor; he's into Feng Shui I guess. My roommate also likes to sleep between me and my husband and block sexy time a lot."

9. Separation anxiety

"My roommate starts yelling at me every time I try to leave the room. She also pants at the dogs when she sees them."

Props to these parents for being able to laugh about their toddlers' nuttiest behaviors. While pretty much no one could deal a roommate acting out like this, it's a whole different ballgame when these moves are made by someone who's only just beginning to learn how to do the whole being a human thing.

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