Redditor Wants To Know What Lengths Parents Go to Not Wake Their Baby

From snacking in the closet to watching TV with the sound off, parents share the hilarious things they do to avoid waking their babies.

Asian mother wake up late at night for breastfeeding infant and clicking laptop computer on the bed
Photo: Getty

Okay, so my son is 18 months old, and he still sleeps in my room. Pause for judgment. I could go into all the reasons why I haven't shipped him out to his own room yet, but the summary is that he's my fifth baby, might be my last and—sob—I'm just not ready to let go. In any event, since my husband and I have spent the better part of two years walking on eggshells and conducting 100% of our conversations in whispers, I had to laugh upon coming across a Reddit thread that parents jumped on to share all the crazy lengths they've gone to in an effort to avoid waking the baby.

To kick things off, the original poster shared, "I twist open all of our water bottle lids so that they don't make that loud click noise." Likewise, other Redditors confessed to opening soda cans and chip bags practically in the next zip code so their little ones wouldn't stir. At least one parent admitted they snack in the pantry to prevent crunching from disturbing their baby.

"I walked around the house like I was in The Quiet Place, legit tip toe'ing to avoid the creaks in his room and the stairs," one parent hilariously shared, while others have developed skills straight out of The Matrix to exit a room where their child is napping. "When transferring to the crib, I'll literally hover with my head on his chest & my entire upper body down inside the crib for a good few minutes before verrryyy sloowwwllyyy removing each body part one-by-one, then verrryyy sloowwwllyyy frog-leggedly backing away," one such talented parent commented.

On the opposite end of the spectrum are parents who lay in one spot for hours while their sweetie snoozes on top of them, despite hunger, thirst, and the intense need to pee! Um, been there. Anyone else ever gotten up to pee with the baby still on their chest, being ever-so-careful not to jostle him, one hand on his head, the other on his tushy, lowering down to the toilet in slow motion, getting up equally as slowly, then returning to a horizontal position on the bed? Just me?

Meanwhile, as many parents on the Reddit thread volunteered that they use white noise machines (I've been known to run my dryer with nothing in it), and ban using the ice machine or even the volume on the TV (yay for closed captioning!), others do not subscribe to the idea of catering to baby like you're Emily Blunt and giant, sound-sensitive aliens are out to get you.

"I don't really do anything," one person commented in response to the question about what lengths you'd go to in avoiding waking your sleeping baby. "My dog barks so loud sometimes. I'm sure she heard it while I was pregnant. Luckily she will sleep through whatever."

Similarly, another person said, "Maybe I'm weird but we don't avoid noise around baby. She now sleeps so hard I bet a train could pass in front of her crib without waking her."

Ultimately, though, at least for me, old habits die hard. Even on the odd occasion that my son sleeps in a crib in his room, my husband and I still end up whispering. "What is weird is our baby will sleep through anything, yet we still tiptoe around when we are in the actual room with him," confessed a parent who obviously knows how that goes. Shhhh!

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